Tuesday, 21 October 2008
Any suggestions?
So the fighting has started in full force! Little man C is so much stronger than little man L and literally crawls right over him, sit on him and grabs toys out of his hands. To retaliate Little man L has started to bite, just to get the "favor" returned on Saturday and ending up with a huge bite mark on his cheek. Any ideas how to handle this situation? What did you do - or are you planning to do?
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Oh no! Well, I have been there and sadly, nothing works. Until they are old enough to "get it" all you can do is watch them really really well :(
ReplyDeleteGood luck!
the babies fight all the time and a long time ago I decided that I was not going to play the referee. So I let them fight it out, the weaker will begin to fight back (Jake had finally started). Or if the fighting happens in front of me, I take the toy and no one gets it. Thats what works for us.
ReplyDeleteWhenever any of our kids do something like that (biting, kicking, etc.), we sit them right down on the floor where they are, take away whatever toy they happen to have, and make them sit for a little bit (depending on age).
ReplyDeleteIf they don't stay still, we use their booster seat and strap 'em in - away from the table - for the amount of time we feel is necessary. (I read that the recommended time out is based on their age - so, at 1 year old, they should get 1 minute. 2 years old, they get 2 minutes, etc.)
Good luck!!
I don't know how much can be done...other than consistently saying a firm NO while you stop the behavior happening at that moment. Once they are a bit older we'll be able to explain more about being nice, sharing w/ one another and not hurting each other. Even now we can say "No...thats not nice" or "No that hurts". And of course doing lots of praise when you see them share or being gentle w/ one another.
ReplyDeleteIt's too early for time outs or anything else. I'll be interested in seeing what everyone else has to say.
Yaya hasn't really done the whole biting thing yet. I say yet as she doesn't have any siblings to compete with. I imagine that day will come for us soon enough.
ReplyDeleteIs there an alternative way to allow them to get out their frustrations w/o hurting eachother? Remember those punching dolls that you blew up and could hit and they would pop right back to their original standing position? Maybe something like that would be effective until they are both able to verbalize their feelings effectively. This way they can be angry/vent their frustrations but not hurt each other.
I wish I knew the magic answer. we started time outs around 14 m/o and those seem to really help. just be consistent with your discpline...good luck.
ReplyDeletei have no idea...my 3 are all about the pushing and pulling and hitting right now. time outs don't work because, well...they are one. but i have been working really hard on redirecting their behavior to something positive like sharing or kisses... sorry i am not much help :(
ReplyDeleteA tough situation. I think at this age best approach is to startle them with one word (not NO as that is easily overused and losses its effect) whenever you see them hurt each other. For example, you could sternly say "WRONG" move them from each other and then continue with what you were doing without giving either one more attention. And of course giving them plenty of organized and supervised time where they can learn to "work" with each other for some positive reinforcement would be good too.
ReplyDeleteOther than that, know its also age appropriate and trust that they will work it out and outgrow it with your love and guidance.
Good Luck... most of us have been there at some point, and if not most likely will be in the future ;-)
K