I have been wondering about this for a very very long time. Today, it was just driven to the point where I thought that speaking about it might make all the difference.
I feel that I have lost my work groove. I love my job, or should this be loved? I love the energy, the drama, the mad rush to the end and the creativity. In fact, the only thing I despise is the admin issues about running a business, not my particular type of business. The day to day site admin I can handle.
Of all the types of projects that we do, I have always found none more rewarding than retail. I mean, for a woman, what is there to like more than being there at the first thoughts of a shopping centre right up to shopping there some day and then revamping it 8 years later (the average time span to revamp). Those last few weeks of rushing to finish, getting tenants in, working like mad to make the opening date - simply extreme adrenaline rewarding stuff.
Somehow I have lost the joy in all that. I am just finding it a total madhouse of rushing, everybody buggering up and the stress is just getting to me. I would just love to jump off the bandwagon and do some quiet industrial or residential development down the road. I hat that I can not pick up the Princess at school tomorrow because my meetings in Joburg will only end at 4 (I hope). I hate that I am working evenings where Hunter has just finished his studies for the year and we should be spending time together.
I have just lost the passion for what I used to love. Do you think it will come back? I am wondering if it is the time of the year (nope - can not be - we have been in this process many times before), a particularly stressful and tiring year or just being a mom of 3?
And then I think of the excitement of redeveloping my favorite mall next year and I feel a tiny sting of excitement. Or not? Would I rather just sleep?
Oh please, can I just get my groove back and enjoy this again? Please!