I have been wondering about this for a very very long time. Today, it was just driven to the point where I thought that speaking about it might make all the difference.
I feel that I have lost my work groove. I love my job, or should this be loved? I love the energy, the drama, the mad rush to the end and the creativity. In fact, the only thing I despise is the admin issues about running a business, not my particular type of business. The day to day site admin I can handle.
Of all the types of projects that we do, I have always found none more rewarding than retail. I mean, for a woman, what is there to like more than being there at the first thoughts of a shopping centre right up to shopping there some day and then revamping it 8 years later (the average time span to revamp). Those last few weeks of rushing to finish, getting tenants in, working like mad to make the opening date - simply extreme adrenaline rewarding stuff.
Somehow I have lost the joy in all that. I am just finding it a total madhouse of rushing, everybody buggering up and the stress is just getting to me. I would just love to jump off the bandwagon and do some quiet industrial or residential development down the road. I hat that I can not pick up the Princess at school tomorrow because my meetings in Joburg will only end at 4 (I hope). I hate that I am working evenings where Hunter has just finished his studies for the year and we should be spending time together.
I have just lost the passion for what I used to love. Do you think it will come back? I am wondering if it is the time of the year (nope - can not be - we have been in this process many times before), a particularly stressful and tiring year or just being a mom of 3?
And then I think of the excitement of redeveloping my favorite mall next year and I feel a tiny sting of excitement. Or not? Would I rather just sleep?
Oh please, can I just get my groove back and enjoy this again? Please!
We all get into that less-than-inspired zone. It will come around:-)
ReplyDeleteIt's sad and hard when something you love to do loses it's excitement and luster. I feel that way about my old job. There are days I wonder how on earth I did it and loved it. Something about being a parent changes the priorities and interests in your life. I hope you get your groove back soon. Maybe you just need a vacation?
ReplyDeleteI think it sounds like you are an exhausted mom of 3, who is trying to 'love' her job and also be the best mom you can, which as we all know isn't easy.
ReplyDeleteis there no way you can work half day a few more times a week? And be vigilant about leaving early?
OR
take a gap year??????
and be a full-time mom for a while?
The holidays are coming soon, you'll be more energised and ready to face the new year xxxx
Maybe you're just tired...maybe you just need a break. I am pretty sure that you are fantastic at what you do and I am also pretty sure that you will get your groove back. The Christmas break is probably just what you need. I sure hope I will see you while you're in PE;-D
ReplyDeleteI personally think you're just tired.I think you need to enjoy your holiday and think about these serious questions in the new year.
ReplyDeleteCan I encourage you though?
One of my clients was like you too. Very successful but not enough time for herself. I told her to start small and block off a half day a week (at that point she was working 6 days a week) and make it sacred (treat like a doctors appt).
After a few months and some work on her time, she was only working 4 days a week, and only 2 of those with clients. The rest on admin, marketing, training, etc.
I love it :)
I feel the same about my job! I think it is this time of the year, but also because it gets boring. I think I need a different challenge. I cannot motivate myself to work as hard as before... Maybe you are bored as well? And maybe you want to spend more time with your kids? I also hate it when work gets in the way of my kids!
ReplyDeleteI was in the same spot last school year. For one, it was the most overwhelming time for me as a Mom - 3 young children, working full time, trying to meet everyone's needs and having recently given up some of my own personal time for other commitments.
ReplyDeleteMy stress level at work the first half of the year was the highest it'd ever been. The second half was the complete opposite - not stressful but also not challenging. I was bored out of my mind, unmotivated, uninspired, and sooooo over it all.
Thankfully this school year brought about some changes - a whole new caseload, a new attitude from me, a better grasp on life at home and a refreshed spirit after having the summer home with my children.
I have been a much better teacher this year than I was last spring. Thank goodness!!
Would it be possible at all to just take some time off work - to step away for a few weeks - and try to find the excitement again? (I know...not likely but just a thought...)
Can I jsut tell you...I am right there with you. I am frumpy, grouchy, short tempered...and most of all there is this weight on me (not just my shoulders) that will not go away. I was worried too, that I was jsut not in love with my job. Then I read a few articles (random ones on stress, clutter, de-stressing, de-cluttering, being a better mom, and blah blah blah) and I realized something. I needed to declutter my life, which would reduce stress, and make my brain less cluttered so that I could enjoy my family without all the STRESS. So, I am decluttering (in pieces) so that I can make next year the best. I am reducing every part of our lives to the minimum. Clothes, if I dont wear it-Donate it. Appliances if I dont use it-donate. Shoes, if I don't wear-donate. Paper-shred, shred, shred!!! The more I declutter...the better I feel and the more time I have with the kids. I am putting away a few sentimental things and the rest...shred, donate, yard sale, get it out!!!
ReplyDeleteAs for work...here in the US...the job markets are horrible, so even though I was jsut moved to an office the size of a closet...I am THANKFUL I still have a job.
Your groove will come back, it truly may not have left...it may just be buried.
Praying for you!!!
I'm sure it is just the time of year, it is known to mess with your head. I hope you get to take a break over December so that you can get your groove back.
ReplyDeleteNo insights - just commenting to say I hope you get your groove back soon.
ReplyDeleteI know from my personal experience that becoming a mom changed my professional "groove" immensely. I no longer have one at the moment:) Time will tell and I trust that you'll know whether things may be changing in that front or not. Funny what direction life takes you in sometimes when you least expect it.
ReplyDeleteThanks Cat for your comment on my blog last week...it's been a very difficult time as I've never lost anyone to cancer before, esp. anyone my age whom I've known forever. Doesn't seem right, but I trust she is in a better place and am happy she is not battling such a harsh disease anymore.
AND finally, yes, we are headed to visit with Frizzy!!! CAN'T WAIT to see her and Bird and to squeeze Yaya! We are close friends and haven't seen each other in over 3 years! We'll both enjoy posting pics:)