But on Tuesday after school all hell broke loose - I guess he just had a very overstimulating and tiring day. I could see by the way that his "bad" eye drew to the side that he was really tired. It started the minute we stopped in front of the house - he jumped on his bike and was up to the driveway. Problem! Our driveway is shared between 3 houses and although the other two are aware that the kids play in it with their bikes, I will not let them play on their own. A car reversing out of a garage can easily not spot a small kid. So up I went with him to the protest of the other two who just wanted to put their stuff down before playing. But I convinced all and we spent a good 10 minutes up and down, feeding the chickens and playing in peace.
Then he wanted the tricycle which I took out of the garage. A fight ensued between the two boys who now both wanted it but I did get the turns thing started and after a minor tantrum from both, we had some peace. Eventually the Princess had to use the toilet, C wanted a snack and I had to get dinner started so I herded everybody in. Forget it - L was NOT going to go in. Firstly he insisted on parking his bike (and all the other) where his dad has to park his car. War ensued when I moved them. Then I carried him, kicking and screaming into the house and locked the door. He started running into the door. Continuously. I cut some fruit for the kids and the other two sat down to eat while I took him outside again. Once he had all the bikes parked in Hunter's parking spot again, he came in - quite happy.
He sat down to have his fruit and I went to fix dinner. Minutes later all hell broke loose. The Princess ran into the kitchen screaming that he is going to bite her. He ran in - hugely angry with her and tried to get to her behind me. I picked him up, he bit me twice, and I tried to calm him down with deep pressure hugging. It took ages to get him calm and every time he saw her he went for her. It transpires that she took a piece of fruit off his plate - BIG PROBLEM! So, I sent her to get some more and offer to him. After many, many tears, screaming, kicking etc. her calmed down. The monster went away and our sweet little man was back. He hugged me and placed his hands around my face, kissed me. Gave me that sweetest smile and ate all his dinner - two helpings of! Bath time went well and he fell asleep on my lap while we waited for the Princess to finish her shower etc. he did not sleep well, but we also did not have the 3 hours awake in the middle of the night thing.
The issue really is not the biting -he has NEVER bitten another kid apart from his brother and sister. He has never been aggressive at school towards a single child or elsewhere at an outing. We are very aware of this when we are around other kids and maybe over compromise for it.The trigger is most certainly at home, between siblings. And tiredness and over stimulation. And do not take his food!
For me, this is not just his issue, it is our issue. A family one. Because the other two both react in their own way to this. C become a little baby - he want to be picked up (because I am holding L), whines about everything and wants to be fed and carried. So not only do I have a screaming L but a screaming C wanting attention and trying to shove his brother off my lap. The Princess tries to be the big girl, she tries to get C's attention to help me, she tries to keep out of L's sight if she was the offending party. If she was not, she tries to distract him. If she feels overwhelmed she goes to her room and play on her own. So the two of us had a long talk on Tuesday night about all this - she had questions which I tried to answer on her level. I assured her that we love them all equally and not L more because he sometimes gets more attention. I think she understands.
It boils down to dealing with this a day at a time. I am extremely positive that we are winning the war and not just the battle - but it will take some time.