Monday, 6 February 2017

How to raise succesful kids

No , I do not claim to know how to - after all my oldest child has just turned 12 an I am finding the road to puberty a tad challenging at times. I have however talked about over parenting before (I have since remove that post as it went slightly viral and I was a tad scared it may find its way to the eyes of the parties mentioned). But to summarize  - in our school we have a lot of parents who are over involved in their children's lives. Parents that almost live through their children. Children that cheated to get the marks their parents wanted. I do believe this is a global problem and not just our school, our city or even South Africa.

At the parents evening at our school this brilliant TED talk video was shown - and I thought that most of us can benefit from listening to it - to either give ourselves a pat on the back and reinforce what we believe or to think a bit about how we approach our children. Also listen out for her take on chores - I love it because I firmly believe it too. My new word for the year is "self-efficacy" - I am planning to raise my kids with it intact

I would more than any other post love your feedback on this!

11 comments:

  1. Totally in line with what I feel. Children are not allowed to be themselves and to be children anymore, parents cannot live through their children.

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  2. Loved this talk. Am so glad that we've always just expected K to do things - at 1 he had to pack away his toys - and that he's wanted to help clean :) Some of this hit hard for me ito how I was raised 0_o

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    1. Very true - some of it did for me too

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  3. Thanks for this! So true! I worry about activities that Little Miss does not want to do anymore, but I will now let it be! The chores we have to focus on more!

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  4. I enjoyed that clip. Pretty much exactly how I think.

    loved the bonsai tree vs wildflower analogy!

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    1. And I am sure you love the part about chores too !

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  5. Looks like I am the only one. I listened to this twice...and I cannot agree with her at all. I feel her views are extreme and on the other side from over bearing parents. A middle ground is best.

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  6. This is glorious and I agree with every word! sharing on all my SM platforms xxx

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  7. Gotta say, that which she has described is purely just the other extreme of the spectrum. Also, its more of an American dynamic that she described with the colleges -looking at my American family, its a different ball game completely.(one that I know that my sister and hubby protect their kids from and encourage them to follow passions, not paychecks and supposed esteem that comes with certain Ivy league colleges.) That univerity scenario is only somewhat of an SA vibe and Im sure exists but not to the same extent. What she does further move on about in terms of approach is the middle ground which is what hubby and I subscribe to as well. We feel our purpose is to create that nourishing environment and as my parents always said to us, "equip us with tools for life, in order for us to forge our own way in this life thats driven by love, passion and compassion". And for me thats the philosphy of parenting I also work to subscribe to.

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    1. I really placed it not about the Us colleges dynamics but about the way people parent. In our school it is sometimes quite noticeable how children are pushed to perform as their parents want then to and not about being themselves. I think for that part it is as you say, very relevant.

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So what's on your mind?