Wednesday, 27 March 2013

It starts so young,

this "letting go" thing. When they start to walk one has to have the courage to let that hand go and let them fall, get up and try again. The same with riding a bike and letting those trainer wheels go. You do not want them to fall and you will do all you can to prevent that but in the end, they have to do it on their own and we need the courage to let them go.

Of course as life goes on the letting go gets easier to an extend but the issues to let go about gets way more difficult. It is always that balance of giving them the courage and the knowledge to  go but also having the courage that you have equipped them well enough to let go. Like this weekend when the Princess went on her first long bike ride  (not the 11 km one - it was about 6km) I kept thinking if we tought her well enough to keep to the side of the road, to get up fast when she falls. What if? It started to get a bit darker and I worried about her not having light enough clothes on. Yes, I guess we always worry.

This morning a friend of mine updated her Facebook status with the acknowledgement that her daughter in her 20s is a total drug addict and that they have managed to get her into a rehab centre and have her 3 year old son in their care. Believe me that this is a good solid Christ fearing family with the dad and one of the brothers as pastors. She mentions that one should never underestimate the influence of friends, no matter what age your children are. Which brings me back to the question of letting them go and decide for themselves. Equiping them enough to make those decisions they need to make in life and giving them the wings to fly.

I know that I have a lot to learn and trust and pray that Hunter and I as parents do enough and the right things in order to equip our children for their future lives. From those first steps to the independence of a solid grown up with their own kids. I guess it never really stops. Ijust pray that we never have to walk the road they have to. And that she finds her way back to fly again on her own.

13 comments:

  1. I read the friend of yours status update on Facebook which are so heartbreaking indeed. I think that one needs to still let go of your children a bit but one needs to keep praying that God will keep them safe. Even though when things like this happen re drugs. That He will intervene, keep her safe and help her to overcome this obstacle in life. To trust that the decision that she made to use, will teach her something in life. It's hard, I know. I can tell you all about it but we just need to let go of the children and pray.

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  2. Sorry about your friend's daughter.

    I agree with letting go very much in principle but it's SOOOOOO hard for me.

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    1. Believe me if it was easy I guess one would not even write a post like this. It is so very hard

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  3. Letting go never really stops :-)
    I think we all try our best, and in the end it is up to our children to make their own choices.
    I am doing parenting all over again, and in a total different way.
    My thinking about parenting has changed considerably in 15 years, but my eldest daughter also turned out to be a well-adjusted person who is making the right choices in her life. (in spite of my different parenting then - which I now think has been misled ;-) )

    Sorry to hear about the friend. No one is exempted from it. We are sometimes just very lucky!

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  4. This is something that's so hard to grasp as a parent. The physical milestones seem easy when you lay them alongside the emotional.

    What a terrible thing to read about your friend's daughter. Not that we ever fully "let go" as parents...but it really struck me, her caution to remain diligent, no matter what your child's age.

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  5. The thing with issues like drugs is there is no way to raise your children to be protected from what society may place in their paths. I know this because I come from a God fearing family, with amazing parents, who raised my brother and I the same way, I turned out to be a well adjusted adult and my brother is an addict in recovery (for a year now) but he's been battling a drug problem for 15 years. He was given the same tools as me, he was raised the same way that I was and yet he went down a very different path to me. There are many different factors at play here, for him it was a trauma that was the trigger and he has an addictive personality (so do I but I never had the trigger he did). All we can do as parents is raise our children as best we know how, teach them right from wrong and teach them how to make good decisions, the rest is up to them and we have to slowly let go and hope and pray for the best.

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    1. Thanks for the insight Sharon. And yes, of course, so very true

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  6. That is one of my biggest fears...

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    1. Oh you say it out loud for all of us

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  7. Drug abuse happens everywhere, and to all families. I hate it, and I hate what it does to a person and all their loved ones around them. It's probably one of the saddest things to see someone going through - and there is nothing you can really do to help.

    I really hope and pray that I never have to go through something like that with my daughter one day...

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  8. This is something that chills me to the bone. I look at my sweet innocent babies, and can only pray that they make the 'right' choices in life, and that they manage to stay away from drugs and alcohol abuse. As parents, i'm not sure we *ever* let go.

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  9. i hear you....we do the best we can and our children make their choices later in life. heartbreaking.

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  10. Ai vriendin. Partykeer kan ons die beste ouers wees, wat ons kinders die beste grootmaak volgens die wee van die Here en dan kies hulle nogsteeds verkeerd. Jy weet deur hoeveel ons gegaan het met B. Die besluit of te laat gaan en die Here te vertrou was seker die moeilikste van my lewe. Vir die eerste keer in al die jare van werk met verslaafdes en ander wat die pad byster geraak het, het ons geweet hoe seer 'n ouer se hart kry wanneer jy vir hulle se dat dit tyd is vir "tough love".

    Ek het vanoggend jou vriendin se "status update" gesien en my hart het gebreek vir dit waardeur sy gaan. Ek bid vir haar dogter en vertrou dat die Here haar sal terug bring op die pad wat haar ouers haar geleer het.

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