Being 11

How do we know what our children feel or think? Some of them talk more easily about it than others but I guess that we as parents have to keep our eyes and ears open for any bit of information.

A is in one of those very strong year groups - as often happens in schools. The girls in particular are very strong in academics (the whole top ten group last year were girls) but also in sports and culture. The under 11 girls swim squad is so strong that they often fill in for the under 12 girls and even help with the under 13 girls while still putting a strong under 11 team in the gala. The under 11 B hockey side was so strong that the won their league while not loosing a single match and with not a single goal scored against them while the A side also did well. So you can imagine that it has to be tough if you want to compete and that the girls have to develop a big dose of inner strength to cope with all this - or alternatively I guess just take the stance to stand back.  I would like to think that A is building on inner strength and confidence.

A while ago the grade 5's had to write a speech about "My life is like...". A came up with ..."a box of chocolates". I then told her that it has been done before - and showed her the extract from "Forest Gump". But she had he whole idea for the speech already written as a wire frame and as I read it I realized that it was important for her to give the speech as she was talking from her heart. So I helped her to incorporate the Forest Gump idea and thought that I should share the speech with you.  I love her conclusion - life is sometimes great and sometimes tough, but it's still sweet.

The film Forest Gump starts with the line “Mamma always said life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” Some of us like the coconut ones or the chocolates with hazel nuts. The toffies are everyone’s favourites. But who ever eats those orange cream ones? Let me tell you why my life feels like a box of chocolates.

Sometimes you think you pick a chocolate whirl but when you bite it’s a cherry bomb! This happens to me often when I think I made the right choice but it turns out to be a less than perfect one. Sometimes the unexpected happens and your choice turns out to be the wrong one.

For instance, last Tuesday I had chosen to swim in the gala but it got rained out before I had a chance to compete. If I had chosen to go to extra ballet practice it would have been time better spent as my exams were on Friday. But if it didn’t rain it would have been a great chance to swim.

Some chocolates go together. A hazelnut and a toffee chocolate are just perfect combined in your mouth. But add a Turkish delight to a toffee and it tastes disgusting, while each on their own are really fantastic. I often feel this way about friends and friendship. Some girls are great to be friends with, but invite them over with another friend and it turns into a disaster. The same goes for sports teams, drama groups and dance troupes. Sometimes the combination of the personalities make a great team and season and sometimes it just simply doesn’t work that way.

But often I compare my life to that chocolate that just doesn’t make the cut – the last one left in the box. The one that just didn’t get the win they wanted or the place in the team they dreamed of. Then I guess it is up to eating that last one that may not be your favourite but is still a chocolate.

I guess my life is all about compromise – and eating that whole box of chocolates – even the orange cream