Is this really my life?

You know how life sometimes just gobbles you up, chuck you around like a lone sock amongst a hand full of pebbles in a dryer? That is how I felt this morning.

Yesterday was tough, very tough. And no one is sick! But it is all the little things that add up. The Little Miss burst out in tears when I dropped her off at school yesterday - where did that come from? She loves her school! We think it might be the shared attention with 2 more kids over most weekends (miss Emma and Annik).

Then my mom called to let me know that her leg is too sore, I will have to pick up A at school to take her to ballet - only problem being that I have to be 50 kilometers away in Johannesburg when ballet class is and my mom promised to take her. Only one solution - no ballet. My dear friend Mariki stepped in after a casual phone call to my mom and took her to ballet. At the end, The Little Miss loved it - they had great fun. But I stressed, big time!

We've been having the weirdest weather, warm and sunny, raining and hail the next, so I found myself driving to Johannesburg (our neighbouring city ) in a hailstorm for a meeting. Stressful to say the least, but arrived in time and our presentation went well. But the meeting took forever and we only left at 4 o' clock - there was no way that I would make it home in time. To add to it, I still had to stop at the store to buy ingredients to cook for Hunter's weekend. Hunter was stuck at work, no help from that side possible. Now I had to phone our nanny, beg and plead and offer extra money to stay longer, tried all routes I could as there was a truck that overturned on the freeway, and arrived late as predicted, but in time to catch the worse time of the day at home - dinner, bath and bed. On my own.

The Little Miss refused to eat dinner (stating she and Mariki had chips and milkshake - which they had, but at about 2 pm), Little man L managed to free himself from his high chair and I caught him on the dinner table just in time - I nearly had a heart attack. Little man C is refusing lately to be fed - and managed to cover his face, hair and chair with yogurt. So I had to carry him upstairs to clean up for bath time, Little man L then decided he needs to cry really hard and insisted on being carried although he can really safely climb the stairs and The Little Miss insisted on bathing at her own after The Boys ( which we have decide a while ago she is allowed to to promote her privacy as the girl in the house). While I am busy drying and dressing C my little L monkey decided to get up in his chair in the bath and climb out - just caught him in time before he fell when A called out. This boy's angels were really hard at work last night! C refused to get his asthma inhaler - it was a full on wrestle to get him down - not sure how much he got in, and at least they went to bed easily.

By then The Little Miss was tired and irritated and I struggled to get her out of the bath, dressed etc. And then she insisted on eating her dinner which I heated again. At last I got her to bed - at almost 8 o'clock - almost an hour late.

Only then did the poor puppies get fed and I started to cook the spaghetti bollognaise for Hunter's weekend. Yes, I am on my own with the kids for the weekend, and I will have one of my extra kids as well for Saturday. I did ask Ilse not to bring Annik - I can not manage 5 on my own. Hunter will be guiding in the Pilansberg park this weekend and I always make the Friday night's meal for them - we freeze it and they just heat it up. While cooking I managed to catch most of The Mentalist and after that, cleaned up the mess left after dinner. I sagged down at about twenty to ten and had my dinner. And the thought was, is this really my life, and how I wanted to live it? I only saw my kids at their worst, and I stressed so many times about juggling all today. When Hunter arrived at 10 I just had some tea with him and showered and crawled into bed. Luckily The Boys slept through - we seem to have hit a good place on that front.

This morning I feel tired, irritated and have heaps and heaps of work. I can not imagine having to do one single more thing for anybody today - don't ask me to call someone who is having their birthday, don't ask me to email a document, I just want to be left alone, for just a while. And maybe do my work, or better blog. Tomorrow, I promise, the sun will shine again. For today, give me my i-pod and enough coffee. Tomorrow, Ms positive will be back with a vengeance. Well, maybe even in and hour or so!

If you have read until this, thanks for listening, and make my day - go bid on an item on the auction below. You stand an excellent chance to win.