So, according to the breastfeeding consultant, I am really abnormal, or just plain exhausted. Let me explain: I breastfeed and pump on my regular feeding schedule during the week. On weekends, I breastfeed exclusively (if I can) on the same schedule. Any breastfeeding consultant will also tell you that breastfeeding is better stimulation than any pump. Thus, on a Monday you should have ample milk to pump and it should decrease as you head towards the weekend. Well, I have an acute milk shortage on Mondays and by Friday have a good supply running. Her conclusion- my weekends are so exhausting that it decreases my milk supply. Well, I think she is correct - and that is exactly why I do not blog in general during weekends. I am just too busy and too tired.
This leads me to a very contentious issue - I actually find it more exhausting to spend the weekend with my family than being at work. This makes me feel like a very bad mommy! Maybe we should concentrate more on doing fun things on weekends rather that trying to do as much chores as possible - not that I get much done in between taking care of the kids. And this again leaves me feeling inadequate.
Today I am literally exhausted! 3 nights of very little sleep have left me a zombie. Friday night was Little man L - I think he was awake 10 times - dad took over about half the time. Saturday night it was actually H that kept me awake with a high fever (he has flue) and snoring like mad. Little man L also did his part waking up about 5 times - and only I got up because dad was sick. Last night was the pits though - The Little Miss has a tummy bug - I cleaned her and some puke about 5 times last night, H was also restless, and Little man C woke up 4 times (he usually sleeps through) - I think he is busy cutting a tooth. And Little man L slept through! Add to this that the In laws were visiting.....
More about the weekend to follow.
oh wow! I hope that your whole family feels better soon and that you get some sleep!!
ReplyDeleteI totally hear you about feeling like a bad mommy because you feel more rested at work. I'm right there with you! Let me know if you figure a solution out...I'd be more than interested :)
oh, and no worries about the 5 things...I had fun and look forward to this week's :)
ReplyDeletefirst off -- major kudos to you for breast feeding and pumping. this is no easy task. i think its awesome, really fantastic.
ReplyDeleteas for the sleeping, or rather lack of sleep -- big hugs to you. nobody does well on zero sleep. hopefully you can plan for a weekend (if there is such a thing).
It's no wonder you were exhausted! Whew! Hopefully things settle soon.
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean about the weekends though. I'm on my own every weekend as the nanny is away and my husband generally goes to the farm to feed the animals or elsewhere to do volunteer work. I don't like feeling stuck at home, so I try to take all the kids out at least one day of the weekend and by the time we're home again, I'm the one who needs a nap.
I did see the drama at Tertia's and was furious at the ignorance of that woman. I'm fine with people believing what they want, but I would hope they return the favour. That particular woman is unreasonably aggressive with her religion and she certainly feels superior because of it. She definitely doesn't show any of the humbleness and humility taught by her religion.
Rabid religious people like her make religion in general look bad, so she's not doing Christianity any favours. From what I read in Tertia's comments though, she and her husband are known for stirring the pot solely to draw attention to themselves. IMHO, not very Christian at all (how ironic!).
Aww honey, what a challenging time!
ReplyDelete(nothing like puking wee ones to take a toll on all. :( Hope she is feeling better by the time of this writing...)
DO NOT feel like you are a "bad mommy" EVER! You are WONDERFUL and a million miles away from inadequate. :)
That said, I can vouch for the fact that exhaustion DOES diminish milk supply. Early on in our twin BFing experience, I was letting them suck as long as they would, thinking they were getting much needed nutrition. With mandated feedings every 2.5-3 hours, and letting them suck for close to an hour at a try, doing that 24/7 took a toll on my supply, AND they slowed in weight gain (because the ardent sucking for so long was burning more calories actually than they were taking in. :( )
Suppose that was a lengthy way to say that breastfeeding is indeed wonderful (we did it for the first year) but there are all sorts of unexpected challenges and bumps along the way. It is a literal drain! Hang in there, STOP the guilt, and wishing you a return to healthy, well-rested house soon!
I STILL find being at work easier than being at home. The difference is, at least these days I'd rather be home most of of the time anyway. For the first couple of years, by Sunday morning I couldn't wait for Monday morning to come. That didn't make me a bad mom, and finding work easier than home with twinfants doesn't make you a bad mom either!
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