We all have our frustrations in life - mine, mainly , is keeping all the balls in the air. And having no play, no margin for error in my day to day life.
Tuesday was one of those - where you drop the balls. It is not going well at work - I am completely swamped - and I am frustrated. I have worked two nights this week at home, and still I am not even seeing the light. Remotely. The boys are also once again into a phase where they are not sleeping as well as they should be by now. This all adds up.But I digress - the real issue is schedule and how tight I have to keep it every. single .day.
So this is my daily schedule:
5:00 - 6:15 Wake up when random child gets into bed with us with random toy that they slept with - be it a rugby ball, dinosaur or fluffy dog.
Get up and go downstairs the moment no 2 wakes up. Feed random children their morning milk and dry serial to keep them busy. Switch on Mnet with Barney and High 5. Oh I love High 5
6:30 (latest) Wake up Hunter if he is not awake yet. Pop in the shower, dress.
Rush downstairs - make the Lil Miss' little lunch (snacks) for the day.
Feed breakfast to random children in need of.
Rush back upstairs to do hair, make up etc.
Rush back downstairs to remind the Lil Miss to dress.
Rush back up.
Greet hubby on his way to work.
Drag small boy downstairs.
Put in DVD when 7 o' clock comes and the sport appears.
Feed dogs if Hunter did not.
Brush the Lil Miss' hair and get her to brush her teeth.
7:30 Lucy reports for duty - discuss items, greet boys and get girl child into car.
7:15 Drop her off at school.
7:55 (if I am lucky) - arrive at work.
The usual mess of work happens.
1:00 - 2:00 Lunch time - gym, if I am luckly, shopping for dinner, home essentials. Catch up on work. Read blogs.
2:00 - 4:30 Work.
4:30 - shut down and try to get out of the office asap through all the interruptions, questions etc. (I am taking liberties every day to get home soon enough so I have to deal with these.)
4:50 - Pick up girl child at school.
5:00 - Arrive home, Lucy leaves immediately after reporting on eating, sleeping etc.
If I have been a clever girl, I left out instructions and ingredients, Lucy would have dinner ready. Play with kids - relax a bit.
If not - I have to cook dinner. DVD for kids, the princess might "help" and make dinner.
6:30 Bath time. Hunter usually gets home during this
7:00 - 7:30 Bed time.
We have dinner - work, tv whatever.
The part that gets to me is the fact that I have no play for error. I can not stop after work to pick up milk or bread, because I do not have the time. Hunter had to step in with this. I will be late for the school or for Lucy's time to leave. It is a frustration.
On Tuesday afternoon this all went terribly wrong. The nearest off ramp at our home was closed due to an accident - I heard this on the traffic report and headed home 15 minutes earlier. My word - what chaos. Took me almost and hour to get to the school to pick up the princess - Hunter had to phone the school to make an arrangement. I had to phone Lucy to tell her I will be late and guess what she asks " What time will you be home?" My goodness - if I knew I would not be in this mess. My answer was simply, I do not know. She was not happy when I got home, but on returning home, she understood - she landed in the same mess to school. Then the boys were upset and tired and bath time and bedtime was chaos. I put them to bed and they refuse to stay there. They keep interrupting the princess' five minutes alone and story time with me. Hunter was working late and I snapped - I yelled at the boys when they did not want to go to sleep. I lost it. I shouted. They cried and cried. I felt like a horrible horrible mom. Then a little girl puts her arms around me and says: " Mommy, I know the brothers have been very naughty but they are so tired and they are really crying a lot" and I felt even worse. So I left her in her bed and sat down between the boys' beds and talked to them. I told them how much I loved them, how much I want them to sleep and be happy. They stopped crying. Then I cuddled each one of them and placed them back in bed. When I got the the princess' room she was fast asleep, without her cuddle and her story. So I went to lay down next to her and gave her a cuddle and in her sleep she put her arms around me and snuggled close. I felt better - a lot better. I guess the lesson is that love gets you further than anger. And guess what - for the first time in a week everybody slept through.