Thursday, 19 June 2008

A low point...

I am just so sick and tired of everything... Or, well, that sounds a bit harsh, I am just a bit overwhelmed at present. I have not written a lot about my mom, but she is a very real factor, both positive, and negative in my life. She is still awaiting the go-ahead from her physician to go for a knee replacement after the previous failed attempt due to bronchiolitus. Yesterday, after experiencing a bit of blurred vision, comes the news that the retina in her one eye have gone loose and that his will have to be urgently repaired (as in tomorrow), failing which she can loose the sight in that eye. So, tomorrow it's off to hospital for her, anaesthetics although she is not well recovered yet and she has to be there at 7 in the morning! Impossible time for me as this is exactly when The Boys get fed, A. gets dressed, etc. Add to that that my mom is a 25 minute drive away, and then to hospital in the other direction, another 35 minutes. H can not help tomorrow as he has an early morning meeting and commutes daily between Pretoria and Johannesburg. Big problem. So, I took the liberty and phoned one of her friends. Who gladly volunteered, and, well, problem solved on a physical level. But on an emotional level I had to admit that I definitely can not do it all and although my mom and I do not always see eye to eye, I really would like to be there for her.

Another very pressing issue is the fact that our nanny's current lodgings during the week, very close to us, will not be available for long any more. She stays in an outside flatlet at my aunt's place, but ,my aunt's health has deteriorated to such an extend that she needs a carer to stay in to help her. So, I need to find her alternative lodgings. This will certainly cost me money, but if I can only find somewhere relatively affordable it would be ok. This is proving difficult though. Both of us are stressing over this. We also do not want to add on to the house at present as the rising interest rates are not conductive to any big spending at present. And we have to get a bigger car.

With my mom not on her full health, it also becomes difficult with A being at school only half day. I can put her into school for the full day, but like the fact that she spends time with her brothers and her dear nanny in the afternoons. We will have to see how this develops. The nanny can fetch her 3 days in the week, but the other 2 remains a problem if my mom can not make it and I have work commitments. H. is not an option as her works 60 km away.

And that brings us to the other issue: H is being overused (I say abused) at his work as more and more work gets piled upon him. He is also terribly tired of the commuting every day and would like to see the kids more and more. The company has also started retrenching people ( but he is not in danger - has been there for long and holds a managerial position). He is however involved in the process of determining who gets retrenched and this is not a pleasant position to be in. So, he is looking for a new job, near to home. This will be great, but as we all know job hunting can be very stressful for all.

So, while having all this stress and negativity around me, comes the great news from Debi that just lifts my spirit and makes the sun shine on a dreary day! Great to have blogging friends to share our lives with. Makes one feel a bit better. And prayers please for my mom! Much appreciated.


  1. Oh Cat! I had seen your comment on my blog and then saw your blog title in my blogroll and wanted to make sure I came over to tell you that am thinking of you and praying things will get better.
    Just have faith.
    I must admit, it isn't always easy to do, but after yesterday, I believe that anything is possible if God wants it to be. Just have faith and He will see fit to bring you through this difficult time.
    :) Debi
    ps I am sure we all get to a point now and again where we just feel like we can't do it all. Somehow, we make it through. Just try to look at things in a different light or focus on the positive and if nothing else, have a HUGE piece if chocolate!
    Chocolate ALWAYS helps! ;)

  2. (((hugs)))) sound like you have a lot on your plate right now. I hope your mom comes through ok and that you find suitable, and affordable housing for you Nanny!!

    Good luck and hang in there!

  3. Cat, I hope things start to look up for you soon! I will be praying things go well for you! And yes, Debi did have awesome news, didn't she?

  4. Cat, I'm so sorry you are feeling so overwhelmed right now. I hope everything goes well with both your mum's eye and her knee replacement, that you find somewhere for your nanny to live ASAP and that hubby does get a new job quickly.

    I'm sure everything will fall into place.

    Big hugs.


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