I do feel a bit more at ease

On Saturday we had the meet and greet with Mr L's new teacher and class mates.I was always worried that he will look older and act older than the other kids but really, he just fits in perfectly. He even has a classmate that also wears glasses so that's another win. His teacher asked to talk to me after the kids all left and immediately told me that L was placed with her because she has some experience with SID/SPD and her own 4 year old has also been diagnosed with it. She has asked me to send his brush to school and have a meeting with his OT early next year. All very positive. On the negative side she did mention that we need to think carefully about moving him in the middle of the year to grade R as most SID/SPD kids do not cope well with change - of that I am very aware and she may have a point there, but let's start the year and run the gauntlet together.


 Although he never smiled he did give his new teacher a huge hug when we left and there were never any tears. He also stayed in the class without me willingly and happily. I am very proud of how he handled it all -he does have heaps of courage and quite a bit of self confidence to boost the mix.

The little boy that could

The Princess somewhere in between 4 and 5 learned to write her name. Very much the usual run of things. Mr C is a very visually orientated little man and he has the great plus of having a big sister to copy and learn from - hence somewhere before his 5th birthday he was writing down the whole family's names - faultlessly. Mr L often asks to write his name, but just scratches a bundle of stripes and circle. Nothing that makes sense. Another reason to worry about him. But I was pretty sure that he at least knows what his name looks like and can identify it, and maybe even more.

We have a whole lot of alphabet letters on our fridge - A use them to learn her spelling, every now and again names get "written" by C. L was casually just playing around with them when two Saturdays ago. I casually asked him to "write his name". Which to me and Hunter's joy he did, immediately and faultlessly. He also on request attempted his brothers (got the first 4 letters correct) and mine (the first 3 correct). I knew he could!

More and more so, almost every day, I get the feeling that he knows and learns so much more than we take note of. That the barriers of communicating what he knows leads to us underestimating his potential. I hope that with the help of his OT and teachers we can unlock all that hidden potential. Develop more ways to get him to show us what he can in fact do.

I know that Hunter and I will do our very best to fight for him, to develop him to his best. As we will do for all 3 our kids.

So the school thing.

As many of you may remember the school requested to evaluate Mr L at the school for submission next year in grade R. I was extremely stressed about this but the evaluation day went very well. It seems like my dream of all 3 kids in the same main stream school will come true. The school came back with an acceptance to grade R but with a proposal for us. They propose that we start him in grade RR to gain confidence in being the one that knows most in the class and to give him the chance to lay the foundation a bit better. He will then be moved to grade R when they feel he is ready for it. Hunter and I discussed it and really for him it was an easy decision to take them up on the offer. I feel very happy that the school and the headmaster and headmistress from the pre primary took the time to look at him and make an unique plan for him. Happy that they looked at him as an individual. Our OT agrees it is a good plan providing that they do not keep him in grade RR for long as she feels he might get bored. His current teacher feels the same

 However it almost implies that he will eventually go to grade 1 a year later than he is suppose to. Taking into account that he is a boy and a late baby for his year it is not the worst of it. The fact that he has apart from the SID/SPD issues also a physical disability with his eye and that the third that is blind most certainly will interfere with the crossing of the median and reading it seems a good decision never the less. They also proposed to evaluate Mr C at the end of next year to establish if he will be ready for grade 1 in his age appropriate year as often boys late in the year are not. At this stage his current teacher mentioned that she doubt he will not be ready.

So it seems as if our twins will not be in the same grade. I know that if Mr L was not part of a set of twins this would have been way less of an issue to me. I may not even have thought twice about it. But is makes me very sad. It breaks my heart to feel that he got the short end of the draw int he twin set. The kids watched the Princess' grade R graduation and concert the night before last and my only thought was that next year this time Mr C will be there - and Mr L not. Will he blame us some day? Will he be teased as he has been before because he wears glasses? Now he will wear glasses and have to do sport with the grade older than him. I guess we will have to cross those bridges when we come to it. And deal with it in a way that will keep his self image as high as possible.What this will do is force us to see them as the individuals they are - which have in any event been our mindset all along.


I have prayed a lot about this and I know that I have to push aside what I feel and concentrate on doing what will be best for him.I want to be excited for him, see him bloom the way the other two do. It may be a year later than his brother, but bloom he will. In a main stream school that we love, just one year later.

Keep calm - deep breath!

So the school called - they want Mr L to come in for a day to be evaluated at the school, to see how he functions in a class.  My heart beat so fast, my hands are shaking, I feel like crying - ok, who do I kid, I cried.

On the minus side - he does not handle new places well, he does not like change. Evaluating him in these
circumstances is not ideal.
On the plus side - they did not say outright no
On the minus side - I have to drop him there and leave him there. They will phone me if he a huge problem arise and I need to pick him up.
On the plus side - Mr C can go with him and stay the day too. They will at the same time decide at which teacher he will be placed.
On the minus side - the teacher he knows (A's teacher of last year) has a very busy and disruptive class this year and she will not be able to do the evaluation
On the plus side - the teacher that he will be evaluated by is the headmistress and she is in our church and he knows her by sight. Her class is calm and relaxed.

So we will try to prepare him best we can - we will talk about going, his teacher and OT will too, I will take them there a few mornings to say hallo. In the end, it boils down to:

 Ps 46:10

Trust that God will keep His hand over all this and that the right decision will be made for our child. :Live in HOPE - my word for the year.
Prayers please!

What??? I said?

When I saw on the school's newsletter that admission applications close on the 22nd of June this year. Yes, it has been made a whole lot earlier than it used to be. In addition, grade R is part of the Primary school next year and forms the first formal year of education. This means that I have to enroll my boys into grade R now! And at the Primary school, not the Pre Primary who I have talked to about my boys, especially Mr L before.

So on Friday I popped in at the Pre Primary and had a chat to the headmistress there. It transpires that I need to do a whole lot of homework and get a whole lot of reports for Mr L. (For those not aware he has Sensory Integration disorder - or Sensory processing disorder). He is behind in some fields of development and apparently at this stage ahead in others, but he does not have what I would like to call a "non neurotipical" profile - I hate the word normal. What the hec is normal? What is a fact is that he has made huge progress in the last year. But it also means that although our OT and his teacher and the headmistress of the pre primary all are of the opinion that he should go to a main stream school, the governing body of the shool has the right to refuse him entry. So I need to get the supporting "evidence" that he is indeed suitable for the school. The Pre primary principal is prepared to go to the headmaster of the Primary school and have a discussion to allow him without even having to refer it to the governing body. For that I am so grateful.

But, this all means a scramble to the OT for a new updated report, asking his teacher for an updated report and getting a developmental psychologist report if the OT thinks we should. A lot to get done in just a month. But I know that if we can get this done, and if we can indeed get him grade 1 ready next year, I can have my twins in the same school and grade successfully. As our OT always says, that is our big goal. The rest will follow. Maybe with more attention and therapy, but it will follow. We also have to move the two of them into separate classes next year so that they can both establish their own friends and place in the class.

So we are pushing ahead getting everything done, and then it's a question of holding thumbs and praying that this all works out. What I do know is that he loves these books at the moment - and he is doing so well sitting, concentrating, drawing. Starting to lift his wings and fly. Hope, yes, hope. There's that word again, My word for 2012.

Firefighter Fred goes to school

The Boys are doing Letterland at school and the whole first term we have been made aware of who the Letterland visitor of the week was - be it Annie Apple or Harry Hatman or Sippy snake.Although Mr L is still behind on his development, he recognizes every letter they have done - Mr C of course, runs the whole alphabet for you. But visuals are clearly his "thing".  But it is just the first week of school and the mommy of the house is nowhere near school, never mind Letterland mode.

So this morning Mr L had a tiny freak out at home - he insisted on showing his Firefighter hat to his teacher. We were running late for his OT appointment so I agreed that he could show it to his OT, which he did, but still insisted it had to go to school. Now the school has a very strict policy against toys at school, for many good reasons. So I agreed that he could show it to his teacher but that it would go back to the car with mommy. He very reluctantly agreed. When we got to school he ran to her and gave her his hat, and she exclaimed "Well done L! The only one in the whole class to remember!" It turns out she asked them to bring Firefighter gear from home if they had as Firefighter Fred is visiting this week from Letterland. Although he did not have all the correct  words to express to me why he insisted, I am super proud that he remembered and had the confidence to stand by his knowledge - especially seeing that they are two of the youngest kids in their class and he is behind his age.

Every parent of a special needs or developmental delayed child  knows how much we treasure these special moments. They give us hope, infinite hope. Which is my word for the year, if you do not know yet.

April is autism awareness month

Today is World Autism Awareness day.

Although I do not have a child with autism, I am aware of some of the difficulties that children and adults with autism and their parents face. Mr L share some characteristics with autistic kids and some days, it's a struggle.All autistic kids and adults also have Sensory Processing Disorder (or known as Sensory Integration Disorder in South Africa) to some extend or another- what our Mr L has and my, does it throw our world around. Although we have made huge progress it is something that might hamper him for life, or at least throw him a challenge to deal with for life. I am extremely positive about his progress and future, but am painfully aware that only dealing with this is just a fraction of what a child with autism deals with. If you want to read more about the relationship between the two, I found this article very helpful.

So today, I want to reach out to those with autism. I want to share two posts in particular of two of my friends in the blog world with autistic sons - Julia and Debi. I believe that by reading their thoughts about their sons will bring the message through much more than just statistics.

On moving forward.

We have certainly come very far in the last year. Looking back a year ago, at the start of Mr L's OT, I struggle to even remember how tough it was - somehow the brain blocks out the worst. The tantrums that we only see now and again on a very scaled down version was in full swing. There was almost no recognition of any abstract concepts like shapes and colours. The tiniest thing ticked him off. The isolation tent was in full use.We were so sleep deprived, I can hardly express how tired and totally exhausted we were (2 to 4 hours awake up to 5 nights a week). It was tough just to get to school and work and back, never mind potty training etc. Life was a huge struggle.

A year on and things have certainly changed a lot. He is fully potty trained, he is loving his school and can not wait for his weekly OT appointments. And lo and behold, I am almost scared to put it out there, but we are sleeping. At last after more than 4 and a half years. The last month has gone without one of L's classic SID kid total sleep failure nights.It is a huge thing in our lives! And I am so grateful, reading that a lot of SID kids only start sleeping through at about 6 - but we worked on it, believe me. We are still using Melatonin and rushing and compressing.

He is also learning his letters via letterland as the class proceeds (but have to mention that Mr C knows every single one of the alphabet) and although a lot of the time it is still difficult to get and hold his attention, we are certainly moving on towards better times. We have had a preliminary speech evaluation and in future we might have a stint of speech therapy. But we are moving full scale - to our target being sending them both to grade 1 at the same time at the same school. The alternatives just stress me out too much. To send him a year later (because we will not be able to hold back C who is at the moment testing a year ahead of age) to the same school has it's problems, to send him to a different school to catch up and later to the same school also has its issues. But both his OT , his current teacher and the head mistress of the school they will be attending next year for grade R(on the grounds of A's school) believes that a lot can happen in the next year and a half that could possibly just realize our dream of having him ready for main stream school on age.

O yes, it is indeed going well. He seem to progress in leaps, then stand still or even regress a bit, and then take another leap, rather than the steady development rate of our other kids. I know it is typical, but it both provides for huge stress and huge joy when achieving a new goal.