I do feel a bit more at ease

On Saturday we had the meet and greet with Mr L's new teacher and class mates.I was always worried that he will look older and act older than the other kids but really, he just fits in perfectly. He even has a classmate that also wears glasses so that's another win. His teacher asked to talk to me after the kids all left and immediately told me that L was placed with her because she has some experience with SID/SPD and her own 4 year old has also been diagnosed with it. She has asked me to send his brush to school and have a meeting with his OT early next year. All very positive. On the negative side she did mention that we need to think carefully about moving him in the middle of the year to grade R as most SID/SPD kids do not cope well with change - of that I am very aware and she may have a point there, but let's start the year and run the gauntlet together.


 Although he never smiled he did give his new teacher a huge hug when we left and there were never any tears. He also stayed in the class without me willingly and happily. I am very proud of how he handled it all -he does have heaps of courage and quite a bit of self confidence to boost the mix.

The little boy that could

The Princess somewhere in between 4 and 5 learned to write her name. Very much the usual run of things. Mr C is a very visually orientated little man and he has the great plus of having a big sister to copy and learn from - hence somewhere before his 5th birthday he was writing down the whole family's names - faultlessly. Mr L often asks to write his name, but just scratches a bundle of stripes and circle. Nothing that makes sense. Another reason to worry about him. But I was pretty sure that he at least knows what his name looks like and can identify it, and maybe even more.

We have a whole lot of alphabet letters on our fridge - A use them to learn her spelling, every now and again names get "written" by C. L was casually just playing around with them when two Saturdays ago. I casually asked him to "write his name". Which to me and Hunter's joy he did, immediately and faultlessly. He also on request attempted his brothers (got the first 4 letters correct) and mine (the first 3 correct). I knew he could!

More and more so, almost every day, I get the feeling that he knows and learns so much more than we take note of. That the barriers of communicating what he knows leads to us underestimating his potential. I hope that with the help of his OT and teachers we can unlock all that hidden potential. Develop more ways to get him to show us what he can in fact do.

I know that Hunter and I will do our very best to fight for him, to develop him to his best. As we will do for all 3 our kids.

So the school thing.

As many of you may remember the school requested to evaluate Mr L at the school for submission next year in grade R. I was extremely stressed about this but the evaluation day went very well. It seems like my dream of all 3 kids in the same main stream school will come true. The school came back with an acceptance to grade R but with a proposal for us. They propose that we start him in grade RR to gain confidence in being the one that knows most in the class and to give him the chance to lay the foundation a bit better. He will then be moved to grade R when they feel he is ready for it. Hunter and I discussed it and really for him it was an easy decision to take them up on the offer. I feel very happy that the school and the headmaster and headmistress from the pre primary took the time to look at him and make an unique plan for him. Happy that they looked at him as an individual. Our OT agrees it is a good plan providing that they do not keep him in grade RR for long as she feels he might get bored. His current teacher feels the same

 However it almost implies that he will eventually go to grade 1 a year later than he is suppose to. Taking into account that he is a boy and a late baby for his year it is not the worst of it. The fact that he has apart from the SID/SPD issues also a physical disability with his eye and that the third that is blind most certainly will interfere with the crossing of the median and reading it seems a good decision never the less. They also proposed to evaluate Mr C at the end of next year to establish if he will be ready for grade 1 in his age appropriate year as often boys late in the year are not. At this stage his current teacher mentioned that she doubt he will not be ready.

So it seems as if our twins will not be in the same grade. I know that if Mr L was not part of a set of twins this would have been way less of an issue to me. I may not even have thought twice about it. But is makes me very sad. It breaks my heart to feel that he got the short end of the draw int he twin set. The kids watched the Princess' grade R graduation and concert the night before last and my only thought was that next year this time Mr C will be there - and Mr L not. Will he blame us some day? Will he be teased as he has been before because he wears glasses? Now he will wear glasses and have to do sport with the grade older than him. I guess we will have to cross those bridges when we come to it. And deal with it in a way that will keep his self image as high as possible.What this will do is force us to see them as the individuals they are - which have in any event been our mindset all along.


I have prayed a lot about this and I know that I have to push aside what I feel and concentrate on doing what will be best for him.I want to be excited for him, see him bloom the way the other two do. It may be a year later than his brother, but bloom he will. In a main stream school that we love, just one year later.

Keep calm - deep breath!

So the school called - they want Mr L to come in for a day to be evaluated at the school, to see how he functions in a class.  My heart beat so fast, my hands are shaking, I feel like crying - ok, who do I kid, I cried.

On the minus side - he does not handle new places well, he does not like change. Evaluating him in these
circumstances is not ideal.
On the plus side - they did not say outright no
On the minus side - I have to drop him there and leave him there. They will phone me if he a huge problem arise and I need to pick him up.
On the plus side - Mr C can go with him and stay the day too. They will at the same time decide at which teacher he will be placed.
On the minus side - the teacher he knows (A's teacher of last year) has a very busy and disruptive class this year and she will not be able to do the evaluation
On the plus side - the teacher that he will be evaluated by is the headmistress and she is in our church and he knows her by sight. Her class is calm and relaxed.

So we will try to prepare him best we can - we will talk about going, his teacher and OT will too, I will take them there a few mornings to say hallo. In the end, it boils down to:

 Ps 46:10

Trust that God will keep His hand over all this and that the right decision will be made for our child. :Live in HOPE - my word for the year.
Prayers please!

What??? I said?

When I saw on the school's newsletter that admission applications close on the 22nd of June this year. Yes, it has been made a whole lot earlier than it used to be. In addition, grade R is part of the Primary school next year and forms the first formal year of education. This means that I have to enroll my boys into grade R now! And at the Primary school, not the Pre Primary who I have talked to about my boys, especially Mr L before.

So on Friday I popped in at the Pre Primary and had a chat to the headmistress there. It transpires that I need to do a whole lot of homework and get a whole lot of reports for Mr L. (For those not aware he has Sensory Integration disorder - or Sensory processing disorder). He is behind in some fields of development and apparently at this stage ahead in others, but he does not have what I would like to call a "non neurotipical" profile - I hate the word normal. What the hec is normal? What is a fact is that he has made huge progress in the last year. But it also means that although our OT and his teacher and the headmistress of the pre primary all are of the opinion that he should go to a main stream school, the governing body of the shool has the right to refuse him entry. So I need to get the supporting "evidence" that he is indeed suitable for the school. The Pre primary principal is prepared to go to the headmaster of the Primary school and have a discussion to allow him without even having to refer it to the governing body. For that I am so grateful.

But, this all means a scramble to the OT for a new updated report, asking his teacher for an updated report and getting a developmental psychologist report if the OT thinks we should. A lot to get done in just a month. But I know that if we can get this done, and if we can indeed get him grade 1 ready next year, I can have my twins in the same school and grade successfully. As our OT always says, that is our big goal. The rest will follow. Maybe with more attention and therapy, but it will follow. We also have to move the two of them into separate classes next year so that they can both establish their own friends and place in the class.

So we are pushing ahead getting everything done, and then it's a question of holding thumbs and praying that this all works out. What I do know is that he loves these books at the moment - and he is doing so well sitting, concentrating, drawing. Starting to lift his wings and fly. Hope, yes, hope. There's that word again, My word for 2012.

Firefighter Fred goes to school

The Boys are doing Letterland at school and the whole first term we have been made aware of who the Letterland visitor of the week was - be it Annie Apple or Harry Hatman or Sippy snake.Although Mr L is still behind on his development, he recognizes every letter they have done - Mr C of course, runs the whole alphabet for you. But visuals are clearly his "thing".  But it is just the first week of school and the mommy of the house is nowhere near school, never mind Letterland mode.

So this morning Mr L had a tiny freak out at home - he insisted on showing his Firefighter hat to his teacher. We were running late for his OT appointment so I agreed that he could show it to his OT, which he did, but still insisted it had to go to school. Now the school has a very strict policy against toys at school, for many good reasons. So I agreed that he could show it to his teacher but that it would go back to the car with mommy. He very reluctantly agreed. When we got to school he ran to her and gave her his hat, and she exclaimed "Well done L! The only one in the whole class to remember!" It turns out she asked them to bring Firefighter gear from home if they had as Firefighter Fred is visiting this week from Letterland. Although he did not have all the correct  words to express to me why he insisted, I am super proud that he remembered and had the confidence to stand by his knowledge - especially seeing that they are two of the youngest kids in their class and he is behind his age.

Every parent of a special needs or developmental delayed child  knows how much we treasure these special moments. They give us hope, infinite hope. Which is my word for the year, if you do not know yet.

April is autism awareness month

Today is World Autism Awareness day.

Although I do not have a child with autism, I am aware of some of the difficulties that children and adults with autism and their parents face. Mr L share some characteristics with autistic kids and some days, it's a struggle.All autistic kids and adults also have Sensory Processing Disorder (or known as Sensory Integration Disorder in South Africa) to some extend or another- what our Mr L has and my, does it throw our world around. Although we have made huge progress it is something that might hamper him for life, or at least throw him a challenge to deal with for life. I am extremely positive about his progress and future, but am painfully aware that only dealing with this is just a fraction of what a child with autism deals with. If you want to read more about the relationship between the two, I found this article very helpful.

So today, I want to reach out to those with autism. I want to share two posts in particular of two of my friends in the blog world with autistic sons - Julia and Debi. I believe that by reading their thoughts about their sons will bring the message through much more than just statistics.

On moving forward.

We have certainly come very far in the last year. Looking back a year ago, at the start of Mr L's OT, I struggle to even remember how tough it was - somehow the brain blocks out the worst. The tantrums that we only see now and again on a very scaled down version was in full swing. There was almost no recognition of any abstract concepts like shapes and colours. The tiniest thing ticked him off. The isolation tent was in full use.We were so sleep deprived, I can hardly express how tired and totally exhausted we were (2 to 4 hours awake up to 5 nights a week). It was tough just to get to school and work and back, never mind potty training etc. Life was a huge struggle.

A year on and things have certainly changed a lot. He is fully potty trained, he is loving his school and can not wait for his weekly OT appointments. And lo and behold, I am almost scared to put it out there, but we are sleeping. At last after more than 4 and a half years. The last month has gone without one of L's classic SID kid total sleep failure nights.It is a huge thing in our lives! And I am so grateful, reading that a lot of SID kids only start sleeping through at about 6 - but we worked on it, believe me. We are still using Melatonin and rushing and compressing.

He is also learning his letters via letterland as the class proceeds (but have to mention that Mr C knows every single one of the alphabet) and although a lot of the time it is still difficult to get and hold his attention, we are certainly moving on towards better times. We have had a preliminary speech evaluation and in future we might have a stint of speech therapy. But we are moving full scale - to our target being sending them both to grade 1 at the same time at the same school. The alternatives just stress me out too much. To send him a year later (because we will not be able to hold back C who is at the moment testing a year ahead of age) to the same school has it's problems, to send him to a different school to catch up and later to the same school also has its issues. But both his OT , his current teacher and the head mistress of the school they will be attending next year for grade R(on the grounds of A's school) believes that a lot can happen in the next year and a half that could possibly just realize our dream of having him ready for main stream school on age.

O yes, it is indeed going well. He seem to progress in leaps, then stand still or even regress a bit, and then take another leap, rather than the steady development rate of our other kids. I know it is typical, but it both provides for huge stress and huge joy when achieving a new goal.

Obsessions

Every now and again I am totally amazed at how obsessive kids get about a certain topic/ item or something or the other. Mr L is a bit higher on the obsessive scale than most which does contribute it's fair amount of tension in the household, but so be it. We will remember these fondly as time goes by. So in honour of fond memories, let me tell you about the current obsessions:

Mr L is totally tool obsessed. He still adores his drill, screwdrivers and assorted tools they got for Christmas. He also has this thing about the lawnmower and weedeater. He constantly wants to be assured that they are safe in the garage, have their electrical cords with them (kid you not!) and that no crocodiles will eat them. ( the product of a Corcodile hunter episode he watched) Yes, I know it sounds rather entertaining, but it can get to you showing him the lawnmower etc in the garage 10 times a day. In addition, regardless of where we visit he needs to know where their lawnmower is. And mowing the actual lawn can be a tad tiring for us all (total SID kid behaviour). What he wants to be some day is everybody's guess but I would think that saving unsuspecting lawnmowers from crocodiles is high on the list.

Mr C is our little astronomer at the moment. The planets, black holes etc totally intrigues him. He just wants to look at Skywatch on the iPhone (I have so far managed to keep it secret that it is on the iPad too). In addition we get informed a million times a day about how many planets Jupiter is from the sun, and that Keppler is a planet too. That a black hole can eat planets. And so forth and so forth. Cute and rather brainy for a 4 year old, but I tell you, one can only talk so much about planets and stars on that level. At the moment he wants to be an astronaut when he grows up.

The Princess has the very obvious one. Her much anticipated Leappad is the bomb. Enough said, we have started with the time management lessons involved in getting some or other high tech pleasure in your life. The little device has certainly amazed me with the feedback I as a parent gets from it. I am seeing much joy in future from this, but we as parents will have to manage this carfeully. And no, she does not all of a sudden wants to be a computer specialist, she still wants to be a Veterinary surgeon, just these days she wants to protect the rhinos too. So she wants to be a Vet that helps rhinos. Future iPad or other high tech devise in hand no doubt.

So what does your kids obsess about or do you remember some of your childhood obsessions. I am told that I totally obsessed about stationary and pens etc. This has not changed one bit. I still adore my coloured pens. I only write in colour - black is for those of us who can only think with the left hand side of their brains

Thats motherhood for you

We all know that motherhood is not moonshine and roses, bubbles and unicorns . It's more poo and puke with the occasional tears of joy thrown in to rescue us amongst the tears of despair . Ok may be I am exaggerating just a wee bit.

Tonight was one of those nights. Gosh, it was rough. I actually forgot how tough things used to be because we had a rather good run the last few months. Tonight brought back those pre- SID diagnosis and pre-OT days . L was tired, very tired. To top it all they had tuck shop day at school. Not my favorite day. Over sugared tired mom and kids are just not my required Friday relaxation mode. Dinner time he did not want to eat and kept laying on the couch. Then going upstairs for bath and bed and all hell broke loose. No, I do not care to go into any more details. Believe me you do not want to know them. At last the boys were in bed and the Princess and I came downstairs for a bit of time together. ( A bit of background - they watched Soul Surfer today at aftercare) As we settled in on the carpet to watch Noot vir noot, she with her Leappad in hand, me with the ipad in hand, she said : "I am so glad I gave my heart to Jesus a long time ago, just like the girl did in soul surfer". Just like that, it was all worth it. A moment sent to remind me that at the end, motherhood is all about these moments. Those that really mean something . That mean the world to us. The rest, are just the background to the story.

It's been a rather BIG weekend for us.

Yes dear readers, I am THAT mom - the one that couldn't potty train one of her kids. The mom that got a Play therapist involved to do it - well, the mind part, and then with huge help from the hubby actually forced the little man out of his nappies. For the last 7 weeks, no 1 had been going stellar. No 2 has been more of an issue - in fact, I spent hours (literally) in the bathroom with Little man L to get him to do those no 2's. Talking to him, having his Dino do no 2's with big high fives thereafter. It has been totally exhausting. There was some crying involved by both of us.

Then, on Saturday, he casually walked to the downstairs loo, got on it and did his no 2. I saw him by chance, and man, did we make a big thing out of it! I was hopeful, but scared of that one odd bit of progress that might just regress. But yesterday, he did it twice. In the same, quiet way. We had MacDonalds for dinner - a small celebration.

The long and short of the story is that we as moms tend to always feel so incredibly easily like failures. I beat myself up on this one - boy, I did. I mean what is wrong with me that I can not potty train my kid. Really? Then when I read that SID kids do potty train with great difficulty, I relaxed a bit but when the OT indicated that she thinks it is a mind issue and not a body issue, and we got the Play therapist involved, I really felt the urge to get this done. I mean, he on his way to turn 4 at the time. The fact that his therapy was at that stage between the two of them amounting to almost a R1 000 a week certainly played a part.

So yes, we all sometimes need to be a bit less tough on ourselves - but boy, does it feel great when we reach that milestone! We threw away all potties yesterday - just to get it out of the way. Over kedovers! Done.

And this really really Makes my Monday - no heavens, it makes my year!

Playing along with Cheryl.

I am often surprised by the resilience of my children.

As was proofed yesterday once again when Little man L went in to have his tonsils removed.

He refuse the pre-med.
He refused to have the tags on his arm - we added them to his leg at the very last minute
And he had a huge tantrum about putting the theatre "dress" on. In fact, when he came to he immediately asked where his clothes were.
When he came to, he immediately pulled out his drip - causing a few moments of drama.
Then he had some pain meds and he and Dino and Bunny napped for close to one and a half hours.
After which he immediately tried to yank those tags off and wanted to dress and devoured jelly, ice cream, salty chips and a tin of Coke - all supplied in a cute hospital version of a party pack.
And we were home by 12:00.
It all went fine and today he is playing very happily at home. I am so thankful!

Playing along today with Angie

A tough weekend = great progress

This weekend has been super tough - one of those that leave you out of breath and exhausted on so many levels. And last night L had a "epic sleep failure night" - awake from 1 to 4 but these are happening less and less often. I am hoping that the tonsils removal tomorrow will also help in the nighttime waking department. But yes, possibly this week will be on the tough side too.

I haven't talked much about it but our dear Little man L at all of 4 years old is not potty trained. He has been no 1 at school, but has refused at home. No 2 - nope, nowhere. Hence on recommendation fo his OT we went to a play therapist to assist. I am really in the dark as to what she is doing and that it helps at all, but we do talk about his with him etc. The theory runs that it is a control issue but also sensory for SID kids.

After an exhaustive Saturday with nappies etc we went ahead yesterday and just did it - took away his nappy (which I then realized he has grown attached to - those cute dinosaur pull up ones) and payed very close attention to him to get him to the toilet in time. At first he fought us and did not want to put on underpants. He also fought every time we took him. Later he agreed to a pair of Lightening MacQueen undies (if there is any character that will get him to wear undies it will be this red car) and started to go himself. All and all only one major slip but we were all rather frayed at the edges by the end of the day. Today I am tired, but positive.
 
I have no problem keeping a kid in night nappies for a while- not forever, but a while - I check at wake time in the mornings and see if the nappy is dry - if it is for a few days we proceed to night times without. Neither the Princess or C ever had a slip at night due to this approach.

He went willingly to school today with his undies (several spares and pants in the bag) and a nappy for sleep time. Just a few minutes ago I phoned and no accidents yet! Please, please may this be the break through! No regression again. Done and dusted! Thanks to my hubby who has played a huge roll in all of this.

And I hate those pull up nappies - I am convinced it is a ploy by the nappy manufacturers to get kids to wear nappies longer - why not make them ugly and not attractive?

The Lord knows when to send a nudge in the right direction

When you get told that one of your children has issues, and is not on the "normal" - whatever that might be, developmental curve, you know that you might face more challenges than other parents. Hec, even having twins just foretells that parenting might be more challenging.

We have had very very tough weekends, specifically pertaining to Little Man L who just did not take the transition to weekend etc very well. I have to say that the last 3/4 weeks or so have really been on a way better level, even if he was sick this past one. But often, on weekend nights, Hunter and I would sag down, exhausted after the day and the tantrums and issues it brought.

We have one little weekend ritual we love - we go to our  local playpark where the puppies play ball and the kids have a ball - expend some energy and hopefully foretells a less stressful and more sleep filled evening. Twice before after having a particularly tough day with our L we have been shown, in our little play park, that we should be grateful for what we have. Twice before we have bumped into parents with children with very evident disabilities - once quite apparently some form of cerebral palsy and once a child with Downs syndrome. Every time we have recognized that this was a call to us to appreciate our "Out of Sync" child for what he is, not more on the special needs chart.

Then, a third time we were shown that we should be tankful was right after a tough afternoon and was sent right to our doorstep and into our house. A old buddy of Hunter's came over to watch the rugby and brought his new girlfriend along with a surprise addition -her 11 year old daughter with Downs syndrome. Who can talk less than our little man L, functions like a 5 year old and who brought her baby doll along - resulting in awakening the Princess' mothering instincts towards her babies for the first time. A lovely loving girl and who my children played with like any other friend - I was really proud of specifically the Princess who is old enough to know that something is not the usual and took entertaining her guest upon herself throwing in some of her own stickers etc and sharing so much .And as her mom told me later about having her hysterectomy at age 11 a few months ago I just felt her pain and her loss.

But yes, I see it as the Lord showing us to be thankful - we face so much less than any of these parents. However you see it - the Lord, the universe, chance, you have to admit that this is more than co-incidence.Yes, I really need the potty training to come along mostly at the moment. I wish I could see him functioning in class where he apparently does so much better than at home.   We will keep our hope up, we will concentrate on the positive improvements, we will march on to get the best we can for our child.  As any of the parents of these other children do. We just have so much more of a chance to succeed and that I need to acknowledge. Even though a lot of times I feel we deserve a break so much.

Mr Murphy you have no reason to read this. None whatsoever.

But we have been having some great sleep recently. I truly believe that we prayed this sleep from God. Little man L has slept through for 6 nights! On Sunday night he briefly woke up and went back to sleep almost immediately. On Sunday afternoon we all had a 2 and a half hour nap. I think the last time we slept this well might have been when the boys were around 7 months of age.

But it is not only on this front that things seem to be moving ahead. The last two weeks Little man L has been in a total developmental overload. He has started to chat in English. His language skills is general has hugely improved. His teacher independently told me on Friday that she is totally stunned by the speed his development has taken. Yes, he is not potty trained yet, maybe that will fall into place soon. Please God, let it fall into place. His newest social milestone is that at last he has developed into our newest little tatter tail - as if 2  in the household were not enough. We still have our moments - last night he was over tired and irritated, but in general these are getting less.

He is starting to recognize colours, he participates in activities way more than he used too. He communicates so well. I am so totally grateful. I do believe the Wilbarger brushing and deep pressure technique we have been doing the last 3 weeks certainly played it's part as has the Occupational therapy and Play therapy.. But I also believe that our constant prayers for our little boy is the crucial part of the equation.

Today we will find out our way ahead with his eyes - we are seeing the pediatric ophthalmologist again and I hope that our prayers  for his eye has also been answered. If not so, the I do believe that the operation was meant to be the next step - the tool God wishes us to use.

Truly, they keep us on our knees. And humble in ways we never knew existed. Our wonderful beautiful children.

Edited to add at 3:05 pm - Praise the Lord - there is remarked improvement. Although not exactly where he should be but close enough not to warrant surgery now. I am hugely relieved! We need to continue with his glasses and the dreaded drops every weekend for the next 6 to 8 months when he has his regular yearly check-up.

A honey day....

Last night my Facebook status read: "A day filled with the promise of Spring and so much more that's good and great. Thank you God for this golden day." Indeed it was a great great day.


We had a bumper sleep the night before and although L woke up at 4:30 he fell asleep within minutes and the first one to stir at 7:40 was little man C. Despite a quick visit to the doctor for me (eye infection), the day just flowed. The kids played outside, Hunter did heaps of DIY, I baked, we all worked in the garden. We all had a rest with a book (although no naps) in the middle of the day and the kids and I made playdough. There was peace and love and a whole lot of nice-ness. Wow, may we hope for more like these.

Our play dough - I let each kid mix their own colour in - and one for me. I truly have a great recipe - check here. It keeps for ages and does not go "off" as it has no oil in.

But the very very best of it all was seeing a small alteration in the sibling dynamics. The Princess and Little man C has always been the best of buddies - mostly because he falls into her girly games of pretend play filled with Princesses, dragons and brave knights. Little man L just does not function on the same imagination and verbal level. He is just always the one left out -the third wheel on the wagon. And my heart aches for him.But yesterday things somehow were different - he and the Princess played with her baby dolls (she very recently "discovered" them) - he has always been fascinated with babies - he loves them. And there, for a while, I saw his imagination come to play. It was such a wonderful moment. 

Later the day it got even better - they are all about racing now and I have to shout "ready, steady, go!" a million times a day. So he and the Princess were up and down with their bikes, raving for a long time. Back in the front garden they got their wheels out and a pram and were busy racing again. Little man L kept going to his brother, who was busy sulking a bit, to try and get him involved in their game. It truly warmed my heart.

Dare we hope that he is busy catching up somehow? Dare we hope that his social skills have taken a leap? Dare we hope that we will have a happier, more balanced sibling relationship? I really truly have to. Because we need way more golden days like these.

 

Playing along today with Angie

I guess you are all rather tired of hearing about the sleep thing...

You know, that thing most people do at night. As most of my regular readers know, I now believe a night of uninterrupted sleep is just a rumor. But I have decided to keep a little sleep "diary" - a print out of the calender where I record the sleep we had every morning. In the week before this, from Tuesday to Tuesday., we had Little man L only sleeping through 3 nights - one of which was the Tuesday after Occupational Therapy and the Saturday when he only fell asleep at 11:30 after a huge afternoon nap. We used to see a pattern that he slept badly after OT (stimulated?) and on the nights when he had his eyedrop in his good eye. The problem was that 3 of the other nights he wake up between 2:30 and 3:00 and then was awake for 1 to 3 hours - apparently a typical SID kid issue. The 7th night he woke up briefly and went back to sleep. The problem is that C had a bad week too and they only both slept through one night.

I was hugely relieved when the OT on Tuesday morning had some more suggestions after discussing the issue with some of her partners. She had quite a few suggestions (and heavens, we have tried many both suggested by her or reasearched by me- the weighted blanket, the melatonin...) - let him sleep in a sleeping bag, do deep pressure with him before bedtime, keep up with the Melatonin and see if he wants the weighted blanket - let him decide. We also changed our routine to bath just before bed and not before dinner. The result - he has now slept through for 4 nights in the last 7, 2 where he did the hours awake thing (I call them epic sleep failures) and one where he briefly woke up at about 3:00. A slight one night improvement. Little man C kept waking up at about 3:00 this week, but somehow on Friday night it all came together and they both slept through for the following 3 nights. Last night was epic sleep failure time again - but from 4:30 so I guess it is ok. But L fell asleep directly after bath and I did not do the deep pressure exercises with him so I do not know if that was the issue.

Regardless - one would assume I had a good sleep for 3 nights? Nope! I woke up every night at 3:30 - jip, I now have their sleep routine. This morning at least I slept until L woke up.

So this morning the OT showed me the brush technique used by OT for SID kids - she die explain that it must be followed by the deep pressure and she has lent us a brush so that we can see if it works for us. This is something that will either work or not but Little man L seem to enjoy it. So the experimenting goes on. I have given up on finding "the answer" to the issue, but maybe I keep hoping.

BTW she has also suggested that we have his tonsils removed - it's been a long time coming, the tonsils thing, so maybe?

So another weekend is done and dusted...

and we had plenty to do, but it ended up being a great one. Amongst enjoying ourselves we cooked 10 meals (well mostly Hunter) for the freezer and I did a bit of decluttering. There were also some napping involved.

On Saturday the Princess had a playdate at a friend and I took the boys to a party of one of their classmates at the Spur. My, did they have fun with their school buddies.

Due to his sensory issues Little man L does not like face painting, but on Saturday he went on his own, sat and waited in line and asked to be Spiderman.I was rather pleased. And he sat at the table and ate his lunch like the rest. Soething to be said for group dynamics.

On Sunday after a bumper night's sleep, the Princess at last got her much desired ear piercings. Those pretty new ears needed a bit of bling.

Seeing her this happy makes my Monday, plus a great weekend too. So what was your weekend like?

Playing along with Cheryl.

Zzzzzz, an update on the sleep issue & the Prental bed issue

When I was pregnant with the Princess, amongst other myths I felt I had to believe in, was the one of never sharing the parental bed with your child. Stupidly (or maybe just stars in the eyes), I proclaimed that our bed is our bed, and not to be shared. With her it actually mostly worked out - she has always loved sleeping in her own bed and in her own room and must be one of the world's best sleepers. Even now, when she is sick and I want her close to us, she prefers to sleep on the mattress we keep in the room, rather that between us. But some times, it is her biggest comfort - like the night before her operation when she snuggly slept between us.

Que in the arrival of the twins. For the first few months, it actually went fine. When sickness struck, I (at first reluctantly) gave up our parental bed and shared it with them. Later followed sleep training and they mostly slept in their own beds. Or we slept in the extra bed in their room. Now, with them having big boy beds, and L's sleep issues, things are rather changed. A few weeks ago when we had 3 sick kids we just abandoned the parental bed - we let all 3 the kids sleep in our bed and we slept on the double bed mattress that lives below our bed. For that period of time it was actually a life sleep saving plan. Through the Princess and my time in the Berg, Hunter and the boys shared the parental bed and the next two nights we moved them to the mattress and us back into our bed. And eventually last week, them back to their beds. Since than, sleep has been rather scarce again - C seem to wake every night and then wakes up L. But the last two nights C has slept though in his own bed and L comes to our bed, to get in and quickly fall asleep again. In fact, he even moves to the mattress so we are (possibly) moving on.

Last night was a horror night though - the ones I describe as epic sleep failures - but due to our second, more specific sleep issue. Regular readers might remember me telling about how Little man L wakes up and then can not go back to sleep for anything between 1 to 4 hours. It is exhausting, Last night was one of those. But we have only had 3 of those in the last month - compared to about 3 a week before, it must be positive.

A while ago the sport teacher at the Boys' school told me that her 16 year old son also have SID and that he describes that, up to today, he wakes in the middle of the night, his mind racing and body aching. It immediately made sense to me that this is what he is experiencing. We wriggles around (body sore?) and speaks and talks about his day (mind racing?). Her son first slept through at age 6.

The weighted blanket we bought at great cost does not seem to be our answer as it is for a lot of SID kids. So I resorted to SID forums and the rest and the word "Melatonin" kept popping up. It has also been suggested by US bloggers but all the pharmacists I talked to did not want to try it on a 2 year old (which is when I last enquired about it). So I called our pediatrician. who asked me for a day to research and called me back the next day, giving me the go ahead on 1mg per night. And it has made a difference - not that he sleeps through - he still wakes up every nioght and crawls into our bed, but that he does not stay awake for hours (barring the 3 odd nights in between). So despite the tough night last night, I remain positive that we are heading for better sleep times. It just better get a lot better soon.

So do you share your bed? Do you believe in the parental bed?

Just as you think you are winning, life will show you that you are possibly only winning the battle. For now.

Things have been going so well lately with Little man L and the SID issues.During the  holidays we had but small reminders of the beast it can unleash in him. Apart from the sleep and potty training issues, the rest has been going rather brilliantly. The OT is going very well, the school has reported that he has improved greatly on concentration and focus issues and he is talking up a storm - so much so that our friends has noticed.

But on Tuesday after school all hell broke loose - I guess he just had a very overstimulating and tiring day. I could see by the way that his "bad" eye drew to the side that he was really tired. It started the minute we stopped in front of the house - he jumped on his bike and was up to the driveway. Problem! Our driveway is shared between 3 houses and although the other two are aware that the kids play in it with their bikes, I will not let them play on their own. A car reversing out of a garage can easily not spot a small kid. So up I went with him to the protest of the other two who just wanted to put their stuff down before playing. But I convinced all and we spent a good 10 minutes up and down, feeding the chickens and playing in peace.

Then he wanted the tricycle which I took out of the garage. A fight ensued between the two boys who now both wanted it but I did get the turns thing started and after a minor tantrum from both, we had some peace. Eventually the Princess had to use the toilet, C wanted a snack and I had to get dinner started so I herded everybody in. Forget it - L was NOT going to go in. Firstly he insisted on parking his bike (and all the other) where his dad has to park his car. War ensued when I moved them. Then I carried him, kicking and screaming into the house and locked the door. He started running into the door. Continuously. I cut some fruit for the kids and the other two sat down to eat while I took him outside again.  Once he had all the bikes parked in Hunter's parking spot again, he came in - quite happy.

He sat down to have his fruit and I went to fix dinner. Minutes later all hell broke loose. The Princess ran into the kitchen screaming that he is going to bite her. He ran in - hugely angry with her and tried to get to her behind me. I picked him up, he bit me twice, and I tried to calm him down with deep pressure hugging. It took ages to get him calm and every time he saw her he went for her. It transpires that she took a piece of fruit off his plate - BIG PROBLEM! So, I sent her to get some more and offer to him. After many, many tears, screaming, kicking etc. her calmed down. The monster went away and our sweet little man was back. He hugged me and placed his hands around my face, kissed me. Gave me that sweetest smile and ate all his dinner - two helpings of! Bath time went well and he fell asleep on my lap while we waited for the Princess to finish her shower etc. he did not sleep well, but we also did not have the 3 hours awake in the middle of the night thing.

The issue really is not the biting -he has NEVER bitten another kid apart from his brother and sister. He has never been aggressive at school towards a single child or elsewhere at an outing. We are very aware of this when we are around other kids and maybe over compromise for it.The trigger is most certainly at home, between siblings. And tiredness and over stimulation. And do not take his food!

For me, this is not just his issue, it is our issue. A family one. Because the other two both react in their own way to this. C become a little baby - he want to be picked up (because I am holding L), whines about everything and wants to be fed and carried. So not only do I have a screaming L but a screaming C wanting attention and trying to shove his brother off my lap. The Princess tries to be the big girl, she tries to get C's attention to help me, she tries to keep out of L's sight if she was the offending party. If she was not, she tries to distract him. If she feels overwhelmed she goes to her room and play on her own. So the two of us had a long talk on Tuesday night about all this - she had questions which I tried to answer on her level. I assured her that we love them all equally and not L more because he sometimes gets more attention. I think she understands.

It boils down to dealing with this a day at a time. I am extremely positive that we are winning the war and not just the battle - but it will take some time.