Being 11

How do we know what our children feel or think? Some of them talk more easily about it than others but I guess that we as parents have to keep our eyes and ears open for any bit of information.

A is in one of those very strong year groups - as often happens in schools. The girls in particular are very strong in academics (the whole top ten group last year were girls) but also in sports and culture. The under 11 girls swim squad is so strong that they often fill in for the under 12 girls and even help with the under 13 girls while still putting a strong under 11 team in the gala. The under 11 B hockey side was so strong that the won their league while not loosing a single match and with not a single goal scored against them while the A side also did well. So you can imagine that it has to be tough if you want to compete and that the girls have to develop a big dose of inner strength to cope with all this - or alternatively I guess just take the stance to stand back.  I would like to think that A is building on inner strength and confidence.

A while ago the grade 5's had to write a speech about "My life is like...". A came up with ..."a box of chocolates". I then told her that it has been done before - and showed her the extract from "Forest Gump". But she had he whole idea for the speech already written as a wire frame and as I read it I realized that it was important for her to give the speech as she was talking from her heart. So I helped her to incorporate the Forest Gump idea and thought that I should share the speech with you.  I love her conclusion - life is sometimes great and sometimes tough, but it's still sweet.

The film Forest Gump starts with the line “Mamma always said life is like a box of chocolates. You never know what you’re gonna get.” Some of us like the coconut ones or the chocolates with hazel nuts. The toffies are everyone’s favourites. But who ever eats those orange cream ones? Let me tell you why my life feels like a box of chocolates.

Sometimes you think you pick a chocolate whirl but when you bite it’s a cherry bomb! This happens to me often when I think I made the right choice but it turns out to be a less than perfect one. Sometimes the unexpected happens and your choice turns out to be the wrong one.

For instance, last Tuesday I had chosen to swim in the gala but it got rained out before I had a chance to compete. If I had chosen to go to extra ballet practice it would have been time better spent as my exams were on Friday. But if it didn’t rain it would have been a great chance to swim.

Some chocolates go together. A hazelnut and a toffee chocolate are just perfect combined in your mouth. But add a Turkish delight to a toffee and it tastes disgusting, while each on their own are really fantastic. I often feel this way about friends and friendship. Some girls are great to be friends with, but invite them over with another friend and it turns into a disaster. The same goes for sports teams, drama groups and dance troupes. Sometimes the combination of the personalities make a great team and season and sometimes it just simply doesn’t work that way.

But often I compare my life to that chocolate that just doesn’t make the cut – the last one left in the box. The one that just didn’t get the win they wanted or the place in the team they dreamed of. Then I guess it is up to eating that last one that may not be your favourite but is still a chocolate.

I guess my life is all about compromise – and eating that whole box of chocolates – even the orange cream

They say life happens when you are having fun

I can not believe it's been 3 weeks since I have blogged. But life has been super busy - at the office and at home with the kids. Last week in particular has been challenging. But let me give you a run down of our first 3 weeks of this term - one that seems to speed to an end.

1. I went camping with the Voortrekkers for our yearly fun camp. The venue has many fantastic activities for the kids and they all had heaps of fun. The human foozeball and a huge gladiator course based on the old Gladiators TV show was the absolute hits of the weekend. I had a very busy weekend taking photographs and attending to lost of bruises.

2. C made us so proud! He managed to score a gold award at the English schools speech festival. For a second language speaker that is a great achievement.

3. The yearly RAD ballet exam is done and dusted. It is always an event that causes it's fair share of stress although our dancer seems to take it easier every year. She did grade 4 this year.

4. On Thursday afternoon A had the unprepared drama Eisteddfod and with her lovely partner managed two A+ and one A++. It was a busy afternoon and we only finished up at almost 19:00. The boys were troupers through all this.

5. The short 4th term swimming gala season ended on Friday. When I asked the Princess if she wanted to swim in the last gala (seeing that she had a hectic 3 days in stall), she answer "duh, of course" - I love that spirit and go get attitude. She swam well and was happy with her races.

6. From the gala we directly drove to compete in the new Kyknet series "Dans in jou taal" that is being recorded at the moment. A and 7 of her dance friends had the chance to be interviewed and dance on TV. They did not go through to the final but it was a great experience. They only performed just before 21:00 so it was a late night. They did not go through to the final but it was a great experience for all.

7. On Saturday morning she danced her parents exam showcase for the ballet. Every year this leaves me in awe of how far the girls' ballet have come in a year.

8. I drove an initiative at the Voortrekkers to collect Santa Shoeboxes. It was a bit hectic at times to get all the lists and ages etc sorted but Santa Shoebox helped me (as did a lot of moms and even my office staff)  and we handed in 62 pledged boxes on Saturday afternoon. I love that we grew our 3 little boxes into this! It was such a positive and fulfilling exercise and I love how parents told me and messaged me that their kids learned so much about how privileged they are through this initiative.

With that I think we have caught up with most of the news. 2 week until exams start and then the end of the year is almost there. What's happening in your world?

The growing up thing

Gosh yes, I know I have been quiet - it's just busy at work and I try to squeeze off some time to spend with the kids during the school holidays. But I do have lots to write about .

I think a lot of you are aware that I love the stage our kids are in now. Make no mistake - every phase has its beauty and wonder - but I do find this stage where their independence grows so very rewarding. To see them on Saturday morning on the horses - how well they ride and how much confidence they show - Mr L had my heart singing - leading his class on his own with such great posture.

 Another step ahead was that Hunter taught all 3 kids how to row on their own while we were on holiday. Last time we rowed they were tiny little people and Hunter rowed us all in  a boat. Now they are 3 rowers - each in their own kayak - rowing strongly, balancing and steering well. Amazing their mom!

There are however always moments that we feel they grow up way too fast - moments where you think that this can not possibly be your child that is this big? Cue in a moment at Sanlameer when A and her friend came running out of the sea in their bikinis - not looking like the two 11 year olds they are but rather two excited teenagers chatting away. That my friends was way too fast. Thank goodness that later that evening they played pretend games with their younger siblings with as much gusto as ever. It's that odd in between phase I guess - to be appreciated on it's own too.

Some moments however are just perfect - on Saturday A and I tackled her room and donated much of what was little girl in it. All the baby dolls went, carry cots, camping cot, their accessories etc. Other little dolls, animals and some soft toys. Tea sets and pretend food. She kept her Barbies - up in her cupboard, and her two Lalaloopsies, my old Cabbage patch kids and her two Trashcan kidz and of course her Lego - and some other little odds like her little ponies, Zoobles en Little Pet shops. I am sure in the near future some of that will go to - but not too soon. Just a few shelves full - to make space for books. I love that she decluttered with such joy and happiness - I guess we should have done it long ago but for her the timing was right -  there was no sadness about it. Just joy at the thought that other little girls will love it and that she is making a better space in her room for herself. It also made me very happy to get rid of 5 black bags of stuff. We were exhausted after 4 hours of going through almost everything in that room but it is so rewarding.

So tell me about the phases your kids are in - are you enjoying it? Or did you enjoy the younger ones more?

Leaps and bounds....

Since Monday afternoon my heart has been so happy , so very happy. Some of my newer readers may not know the history but we have had a hard and long struggle with our Mr L. He has several issues that just make life that little bit harder - harder to learn and to be what seems to come easy for our other two children. For the record, let me spell it out because this is a celebration of regardless of all of this, he is achieving. He has surprised us so many times. Mr L has an eye defect that leaves his right eye partially blind and the 2/3 that have sight at -6,5 while his left eye is +1,5.  Therefore he wears contact lenses - as glasses can not compensate for an 8 point difference. A challenge on it's own. Add to that low muscle tone and Praxis - two issues the OT has worked very very hard on through the years. Then the ADHD and some Autistic traits complete the picture. He has a package that will be a challenge to anyone. A package that our little Lion fights with - bravely. Sometimes we feel like we are going two steps forward and one step back - but we are certainly winning and life is way easier now at 8 than at 3 or 5.

Last year his biggest challenge in the year by far was the debate item they all had to do in class for a mark. Boy the fights we had over this! The learning again and again. The barrier he build not wanting to learn more. The shouting and fighting and total feeling of being unfairly frustrated with your kid.... and then his teacher let him almost read it in class. I think we all felt a bit defeated but it was over and at least he did hit.  He never looked up and spoke really softly. For grade 1 it was apparently enough. They just had to speak (it was their very first chance to do so in grade 1) and it was enough. But I knew come grade 2 it will be another matter.

This year I feared the dreaded grade 1-3 debate item. But we went ahead - pushing last year to the back of our minds. We let him choose his subject - possibly the most controversial of the choices ( I believe that hunting is a good thing) - and wrote his speech. We started learning it over the weekend and the au pair spent a lot of time last week teaching both the boys their speeches. Friday afternoon they both presented completely learned speeches to me. I was so surprised and very excited about this. Over the weekend we helped both to round them off and found out that Mr L does not even need his cue cards - he knows it by heart.

I have warned his wonderful teacher before that this was a huge challenge last year and she said that he could choose when he wanted to do it. It turns out that once again he surprised us all! Totally! He got up in class on the very first opportunity - with huge confidence, speaking out and looking at the class as he presented his item. He did it so well that he was sent with another boy to one of the other grade 2 teachers to present his speech. Which he once again did with such confidence in front of a totally different group of children. This is huge for him - another last frontier broken and tamed. I am so very very proud of how far he has come in a year. My heart is overjoyed.

Adding to the happiness of course is that Mr C in the grade 3 debate went through to represent his class in the grade 3 debate final today. That was also a surprise to me as I have never thought that public speaking was his thing.  We are so extremely proud of him - I hope he got up proud and spoke out loudly in front of all those teachers and kids today and that he feels great about his achievement. (He debated the point that homework is not a good thing. )

I'm a very happy mom.

So much to be thankful for

I have been quiet - because we have been busy. Busy with prize givings and end of year business. And we have been blessed. Extremely blessed. I am filled with a total joy deep in my heart. Every one of our 3 precious children exceeded our expectations of them. Every time it was a surprise.

It started with our Bear, Mr C who on the morning of his prize giving at school won one of only five academic trophies in his grade - the one for spelling. I had no idea - no idea whatsoever that he even had a chance of winning any trophy. In a group of 150 children that is no mean feat.  I could not contain my joy!

The next morning our Lion, Mr L surprised us by receiving a general academic mention and one for Maths. To think that a year ago we were trying to get him into a special needs school and that with the help of a wonderful teacher and a lot of hard work he managed to end the year like this totally blows my mind. I was walking on air for the rest of the day. He also got a very special award on Saturday night at the stables award ceremony. He was the runner up for the inspiration award (won by an old man that at the age of 72 is learning to ride for the first time) for his guts, determination and huge improvement that has served as such an inspiration for the management and staff there.

This morning it was our Princess' turn for the prize giving ceremony at school. Grade 4 is a big year - there are tests, exams, projects and a whole different way of work. We prepared her not to expect to be in the top ten awards as they are an extremely strong academic group - in fact in sports and culture too. She surprised us and herself by achieving top ten in Natural science and technology, Social sciences and English. This already had me totally overwhelmed with joy. Then she was called for the top ten overall academic achievers. My heart almost burst.

So yes, this is a mommy bragging post - I am allowed to it's my space here. But I need to journal my feelings here and now - I need to acknowledge their achievements and hard work. I am so very proud - but over all, I am so humbly filled with total gratitude.

When plain hard work (and maybe a bit of talent) pays off.

A has always enjoyed drama. This year though the prepared drama has taken more time and determination than ever had before. You see, the group she has been in has always had a relatively easy ride. And did well - always an A+ when it comes to Eistedfodd time. She and her one partner even scored and A++ in unprepared drama last year . Their groups however are determined by the days when they take drama. And so this year she landed in a new group - with only one of the girls that was in her previous group. The rest of the group was made up of one girl that has been in one of the other good groups and two brand new girls with zero experience.

All along the girls have been prepared to maybe not score as high as their previous years because by grade 4 a bit of drama experience makes a difference. But they have a great teacher and she handed out the roles according to personality and experience. They were well on their way. And then a glitch. One of the new girls did not as expected in her term 2 exams and her mom stopped her drama. Literally less than 7 weeks before the Eistedfodd with the whole piece in place and rehearsed. They were just going to run it through every week and work on unprepared preparation and coaching.

So the result was a whole restructuring of the piece - with one less character. Drama most weeks twice a week and the last month 3 times a week. I was very angry with the mom on the one hand but I do understand her reasons. But drama is a team sport and honestly you do not drop your team.

Friday was Eistedfodd day and despite it all they were amazing and scored an A++. Highest achievement ever! We were so proud of the four of them. Little drama queens.

Once again I am so happy that the lesson of hard work equals reward could be taught. Also the lesson of adapting and accepting the unexpected bad news. And most of all that team work wins. I am wondering what the other mom is thinking when she saw their marks on Facebook?

So now my question - what would you have done if you were the mom of the other girl? (She is no where close to failing but the marks are not what the parents wanted). Would you have dropped the team or would you have continued with what would have been one hour a week and maybe half an hour once a week for a month and caught up the time and work somewhere else? I know it is more an issue of principle possibly. However the principle of teamwork is also one to stick by. Due to the positive outcome I am not angry but it did add a lot of strain on the other girls in a term where we certainly do not need more strain.

He ain't heavy, he's my brother.

Our house is just full of sick - snotty noses, coughs... the newest victim being Mr L. We have kept him at home for Tuesday and Wednesday but today he looked better and it is evaluation time so I do not want to keep him home if not needed.

This morning he was waiting at the door, rugby ball in hand,ready for school. I explained that he can not running around, playing rugby with his cold. He has to take it slowly. Tears! Lots of tears!

The best big sister ever hugged him tight and said: "Don't worry. Wait in front of your class and I will come and sit with you during break". Oh my heart! She realised that he is worried about being alone if he does not run around with his usual mates. The tears immediately stopped and with an :"ok" and a big hug we made our way to the car. When we walked into school she reminded him once again.

The joy of siblings...

The day my boys had me speechless - and extremely proud.

If you have been reading my blog for a while you may know that our family has a motto - If you participate to the best of your ability it is good enough for us and in our eyes you are a star. For us it is always about trying, and trying your best. Not winning.

The boys have been doing Judo for the last 2 years and Mr C has participated in two tournaments before and Mr L in one. Mr C has previously won one silver and a gold (but with very small field). We were not convinced in both cases that they were giving their all .This Saturday we decided to participate in one again and the field in their age and weight category was sizeable.

I did not expect much but boy, when Mr C went in for his first fight I could not believe my eyes! Such guts, such determination and will to win! Even more of a surprise was Mr L that went full out for it and did exactly the same.  I was so proud right then that I could not stop smiling.

In the rounds they never played against each other but then when the medal play outs were announced they came up brother against brother. Fun but difficult - all of a sudden it went quiet in our little corner - just for that fight.

In the end, Mr L walked away with gold and Mr C with silver. Mr L won the medal decider with points but also had one more clear (not points) win in the rounds. I am so extremely proud of my two boys - not just for winning medals, but for living out our motto with enthusiasm.

Letting go!

I seem to be writing a lot about growing up and independence these days. I guess it is just a reflection of the phase we are in with the kids, especially with the Princess who as the oldest child is always the one to push for new frontiers. As is the usual way it goes in families.

In the beginning of the Easter holidays she left for her first 5 day camp (4 nights) with the Voortrekkers. The longest she has even been away from us before was for two nights.  So this was a huge jump in independence, possibly more for us than for her. Gosh we missed her and worried about her but we all made it through fine and it was great to have her back with us on the Sunday.

I am so proud of how she handled it - she did the "Vasbyt" badge - basically a fitness and endurance specialty that involved a 2,4 km jog, uphill running, push ups, sit ups, climbing ropes and flagpoles, 5km hike etc. and did it with guts and determination. Only 5 of the girls in their group did it - the other 12 did the First Aid badge. Some of the boys even opted out and did the First Aid. I did not realize that it was a big deal if they made it but only the group that did this badge received a special medal for completing it and it apparently has a bit of a brag factor if you have that badge on display on your uniform.

The lesson I guess is that we need to slowly let go - the kids handle this way better than we do. But it's hard! It's a piece of our heart being sent to cope with herself on her own for 5 days. To dig deep and to push through on her own. But the payback came in self confidence - about her abilities to cope and cope on her own. About being able to do things she maybe did not think she could. About finishing very well in that 2,4 km run - ahead of most girls and realizing that maybe she can run after all even if a 100m is not her thing. About trying her best on her own - without our immediate support. And that, I guess is what growing up is all about.

On friendship and more

 

 It's been a week and a half now of rain, on and off, sunny and cloudy skies, wind, thunder and even some hail. We also had an unexpected cool day or two. As if we haven't had enough dealings with insurance this year (one windscreen claim and one stolen camera claim expertly handled by Santam and one cellphone claim to MTN directly - I am yet to receive feedback) the lightening struck our house on Saturday morning. Thanks goodness we weren't there - apparently it is quite scary and the neighbor told us there were flames dancing on the electrical fence with the gate opening and closing all the time. Turns out both the fence and the gate is fine but our garage motor is totally burned out and the alarm system is as confused as a chameleon on a Smarties pack. ABSA home insurance has been phenomenal and if all goes well everything will be replaced and fixed by tomorrow afternoon. I have had enough of insurance and I am sure the insurers of me too. And the schleb and time it takes and....

Some of you may recall that one of my two BFF and old horse riding partner N has been living in Canada for the last 9 and a bit years. We have only seen them twice since - they waited 4 years to come out the first time and then were here for her MIL 80 th birthday the year before last. Well her MIL fell sick and they came here in haste to organize care for her. It's been a bit of a nightmare for them of course, finding and assisted living facility, organizing to move her things, getting records of her health, etc etc. But last night they managed to pop over for a quick dinner and visit. My was it good to see them. We laughed , had some great red wine and talked and could have gone on for hours and hours. But they have a move to attend to today and the friends they are staying with has early bedtimes so it was shorter than we wished for , but it was there. The kids had a little visit before they went to bed and now have some memory of who they are. I am always amazed at how great these two people that chose not to have kids converse with children. They had such great talks with all 3 - almost talking to them as little adults but about topics the kids can talk about. We were all amazed at the plastic Canadian money- very odd feeling (the notes are not paper but plastic with see through bits)

 We are well into the last bit of the year - next week is going to be extremely challenging, but as more and more things come to an end I feel better and better about things we have achieved this year. Amongst them is the above bit of sculpting work by our Mr C - his very first try and I am over the moon. For 7 years of age I think it's stunning.

So anybody else had weather damage? And how was your insurance year? And how is the rest panning out for your family?

Your kids may just surprise you

Honestly we have never taken our children to a proper grown up restaurant. Coffee shops and so forth, yes. But no proper place with cloth napkins and no play area. Some place that serves great food and not over basted steaks. Somewhere where they do not have a play area, colouring in sheets as place mats or an offer to make your own pizza. Proper dining.

Well for Sunday lunch we did it. With friends. 4 adults, 6 children 11 to 5 with 3 7 year olds in the mix. It went well - amazingly so. I promise you I could hardly believe it. And all we took along was some paper (an old traffic impact study printed on one side) and a set of twisty crayons.

We had great great food (Portuguese buffet) , good wine, excellent company for 3 hours and very good children. In fact, it was such a nice experience that it has totally turned my very tired, very irritated and low mood into a very happy and positive mood. The naps after at home certainly sealed the deal. None of the "we went out to lunch, the food was just sort of ok but at least the kids had fun" feeling.

It just goes to show a point that was made to us by Piero from the now closed Tutti Pasta restaurant. Children have to learn to sit at a table and enjoy a good meal - without having the adaptions that we as a society have made to make it easier for them. If we always take them to kid friendly venues they will never learn and every time you take them to a non kiddy friendly place they will learn and adapt.

I know we have left this late - our kids are 7 and 9 - certainly we could have tried this earlier as some of you may. But truly, we as adults are entitled to having the dining experience we want and our kids need to adapt too - no use us always adapting for them. Admittedly it gets easier as they grow up but I am wondering if we could not have done this years ago if we started younger and just got them used to it.

So what have your experiences been?

(We had lunch at Mesa Portuguesa that has a stunning Sunday lunch buffet - it is well worth the visit. There is a little plastic table in one section for very small toddlers I guess - our kids did not even attempt to go there but for  a 2 year old this can help)

The day I was so very proud of my kids

Yesterday we had a birthday party - one of those nice different ones. It was for one of Mr L's classmates. It was at the Groenkloof game reserve and after we arrived the kids were given a pretty bandanna to wrap water bags and chocolates in and tie it to a decorated stick. The whole party then set off on a 4km hike - and one with lots of ups and downs.

The view from the highest point of the hike

I was a bit worried about how the kids were going to handle it but they did us so very proud. While a lot of Mr L's friends were carried quite a bit by their moms or dads, ours walked all the way. And while right towards the end Miss A and Mr C complained a little bit, Mr L was right out there with the front group of hikers, chatting away with friends. He never complained, not once!

This pic looks like two little boys running away from home or something...

And so they grow up - a year ago we would have carried two of ours for quite a bit - of that I am sure. I can see our first backpack hike in sight somewhere in the future.

After the hike and a game drive they still had the energy to ride on a bike obstacle course.

So in the next 2 weeks....

it's silly season. No really. Get this list:

• Two separate revue rehearsals for two separate kids on two seperate evenings (A & C). It's revue year at school - only once every 4 years, but still.
• 4 days of ballet course (A), one day followed by the school's  big yearly festive event, one by a hockey match or two and one by her drama Eisteddfod with only 30 minutes in between the two events.
• Said festive school event for the whole family where I am busy designing posters for the grade 2 stall.
• English speech festival (For A)
• A school outing (For C)
• Spring picnic (For C) 
• Early mornings at school on 3 occasions for team photos (all 3 kids) and one late afternoon (A)
• One Granny day at school as seeing that we only have one granny in Pretoria I have to help and attend to make sure both my boys have someone at their little event, followed by a picnic with granny where I will have to help out.

And..... what? That's it? Somehow I feel totally out of breath just thinking about it all.

But yes, work is busy, I am totally loving family time and I am reading whenever I can. I am also loving Masterchef SA. But life is busy and somehow blogging is taking a backseat. At the same time, I am still loving Project Life and although I am even behind on that at the moment, it is taking a lot of the urgency to blog out of my life. Recording such lovely details of day to day stuff is so enjoyable and in the Project Life format we can all enjoy it as it develops every week. I am still surprised at how much I love the format and that I am not far behind. Also sad I have not done this years ago

In the meantime - the biggest "event" in the last week was Mr C loosing his first baby tooth.

Only your best

As parents, we try to instiall in our children the values we like them to have as grown ups. School, sport and other activities provide us with the platforms and opportunities. Supporting them and giving them the courage to compete is up to us. We as parents will never push them to achieve, but we do believe that they should give their very best, try their utmost and most of all, participate to complete the task at hand. We also believe that active kids are healthy kids and that it is up to us as parents to encourage sport and active participation.

All 3 kids had their chance this year to show us that they are willing to participate and try their best. We are very proud of them all.

On the 11th of January (A's birthday) Bear participated in his first 60 m dash with the rest of his grade R group. He gave it his all and ran as fast as he could. We were so proud of how very hard he tried. (they do not allocate places so we have no idea how well he did - the important bit is that he tried so hard.)

On the 12th of February it was the Princess' turn when the school had the annual internal rugby and netball day. The grade classes compete against each other in both the game and the spirit prize( for theme, cheering and team spirit). They are trained by their grade 7 prefect and 2 other grade 7 girls. The Nerd Ninjas (the theme they chose) won on all accounts and received both prizes. She played her heart out as goal defender, a position she seems to enjoy for the formal netball practice too. We were so proud of their spirit and how hard they tried and how much joy they got from being sporty and active.

Last night it was our Lion's turn when the pre -primary hosted their annual fun run. The kids get sponsored for rounds they run or walk along a course in an hour. Brothers and sisters get to join in the fun and run too and score points for their sibling's team. They all did their very best and ran like champs -but Mr L deserve a special mention. He tried so very very hard and I am so extremely proud of him. His last 3 rounds was done on the promise that it was the very last song playing on the PA system and that we just had to get through the song. (moms and dads often walk some of the rounds with the kids to encourage them) He was exhausted but ran or walked right to the end. He did an excellent 28 rounds, one of the top ones in his class. C did 25 rounds - a great achievement too and as most of the primary school kids go full out for it,  A did 41 rounds. They each got a medal to remember the event by.

BTW - what I love about blogging is that I could go back to the Princess fun run post back in 2011 and have a look at how many round they did then (the course was made shorter this year though.)

We have found the answer!

Every parent fears that late afternoon hysteria- we seem to have them especially over weekends.Those cabin fever induced fights, niggly crying, fidgeting with everything, tantruming etc. Or often just general tiredness as we seem to have hit a no nap zone, regardless of what we try. Well this weekend we found the very perfect solution - manual labour. Yes, it works like a charm! Our kids have a few chores - making their own beds, tidying their own toys, help with the care of the puppies (feeding, brushing and recently poo collecting with the poop scoop), clearing the table and helping in the garden. Saturday afternoon saw 3 tired and miserable kids. After being called to help in the garden we had 3 smiling happy kids! We repeated the process on Sunday afternoon even before disaster struck. They helped to clean the Weber and the big gas braai and we had happy, tired and dirty kids who enjoyed their swim, dinner and an early evening. It's pretty clear to us that we need to work these guys harder and we will have way less issues!

As to the rest of the weekend :

 According to their instructor they made huge progress in only a week horse riding.

Hunter made friends with beautiful Baltic Sea

The kids love their sticker workbooks I bought at Exclusive Book's sale earlier this year.

A had friend C over for play after ballet practice on Saturday and they spent the afternoon doing experiments with her science set.

 So what chores do your kids do and are we the only people to notice the "joy in work"  thing?

The little boy that could

The Princess somewhere in between 4 and 5 learned to write her name. Very much the usual run of things. Mr C is a very visually orientated little man and he has the great plus of having a big sister to copy and learn from - hence somewhere before his 5th birthday he was writing down the whole family's names - faultlessly. Mr L often asks to write his name, but just scratches a bundle of stripes and circle. Nothing that makes sense. Another reason to worry about him. But I was pretty sure that he at least knows what his name looks like and can identify it, and maybe even more.

We have a whole lot of alphabet letters on our fridge - A use them to learn her spelling, every now and again names get "written" by C. L was casually just playing around with them when two Saturdays ago. I casually asked him to "write his name". Which to me and Hunter's joy he did, immediately and faultlessly. He also on request attempted his brothers (got the first 4 letters correct) and mine (the first 3 correct). I knew he could!

More and more so, almost every day, I get the feeling that he knows and learns so much more than we take note of. That the barriers of communicating what he knows leads to us underestimating his potential. I hope that with the help of his OT and teachers we can unlock all that hidden potential. Develop more ways to get him to show us what he can in fact do.

I know that Hunter and I will do our very best to fight for him, to develop him to his best. As we will do for all 3 our kids.

It's ballet mom again.

Twice a year I take on another role - that of ballet mom. Once a year with the annual concert and the other at exam time. This year, as Murphy would have it, the exam was slap bang at exactly the same time as the mall I showed you yesterday was about to open. But my kind staff covered for me so that I could be there for the Princess' big morning. Taking into account that she was so sick yesterday morning that I had her at the doctor (UTI but she was nauseous and very sick) she looked stellar this morning. Apparently it went well according to the girls, and all they actually talked about was the examiner's  "funny" (British) accent.

The ballet takes a lot of hard work and dedication from the girls (and the parents) but mostly from their very brilliant teachers.

By popular request, the mall today. Yes, functioning but not 100% there. Miracles do happen

What's happening

Well, quite a lot actually. Silly season is in full swing and I have realized this weekend that up untill the end of the school year we do not have a single Saturday where nothing is already planned. I also know that next year with 3 kids in 3 grades things are going to be even worse because up until now the boys have generally had most of their activities and parties together - now it will be no more.But alas, I am sure we will also get used to that. But in summation - here's what's happening:

• The Princess had one of her art works chosen for the school's yearly art exhibition. We are very proud of all she has done and achieved this year.
• She has a very busy week this week with her grade 1 RAD (Royal Academy of Dance) ballet exam on Thursday morning and unprepared drama Eisteddfod on Friday afternoon.
• The boys have photo day today - dressed as per usual but in shirts they chose last night (Spiderman for both). We roll like that for school photos - not anything different than the usual school day clothes.
• The boys will both have special days to visit their new schools in November. I know in what class C is and I think the teacher is a very good match for him. Still waiting to find out where L will be.
• I have nothing planned yet for Christmas, we are re thinking our holiday plans and I have not booked a photo shoot this year. Very disorganized but for once it is not stressing me much. Work is so hectic this year that I am quite ok to go with the flow.
• We had a lovely weekend - a visit to granny and watching the rugby together (The Princess and my Blue bulls is out of the final but Hunter and the Boys's Western Province is in - we girls will thus support Province on Saturday too).
• The Princess has a wonderful adventure party again (her 3rd visit to the same venue this year) with another planned this Saturday . I love it that the kids enjoy the down to earth goodness of adventure courses, getting dirty and braaing their own sausages over things like pamper parties. The time for that will come, but for now I love this idea.
• Hunter and I had a most special "date" on Friday night - it was truly fantastic. But more about that in a separate post. Here's a teaser though.

Sometimes success is totally unexpected.

On Friday I watched my slightly reserved and often shy daughter get onto a stage and transform from a little girl into a clever little bunny. I stood amazed at the confidence, the faultless delivery and the total absorption in the moment.

To think the idea of drama was sort of an after thought when she did not get chosen for the choir. As a tool to breed more self confidence only. Their teacher even warned us not to expect too much as it was their very first performance and the technique is not really perfect.

But they did so well and got an A+. I loved the judge's comment that she could "see" there was a bunny on the stage.

I am in total awe of the amazing teacher they have that has managed to do so much with these little grade 1 girls.

It has done so much to boost her self confidence. And I am so very very proud of her.

Often one thinks you know what your children will like to do or be good at, but sometimes they surprise us. I am so very thankful for this bit of triumph after last Friday's disappointment. I am also thankful that she enjoyed her first hockey games on Saturday - but more about that later this week.

Do you know what your children will like or be good at? Or did they surprise you too?

Dealing with disappointment

Way back in standard 4 (grade 6 today) I was chosen to sing in a State Theatre Opera production of Othello. It was a huge honour as we were hand picked by the Opera's conductor and musical director and we practiced for hours.Then came the big day when we were taken to the State Theatre to be measured for our costumes and to practice with the cast. We got on that huge stage and the Prima Donna was standing with us to sing our bit (we were children taking flowers to her) and as the director looked at the scene, he yelled "stop" and took me off the stage. Yes, at that age I was head and shoulders taller than her and would most certainly not have worked in the piece as a child taking flowers. It was the end of my brief singing career and I also stepped out of the school choir at the end of that year. Not only did I feel I was too tall but also that I could not sing. That somehow, the two were connected. I fully intend to handle and see that disappointment is handled on a better level with my children. And yes, I realize that one can not always guard them from others and the realities in life, but our family's motto of "I think I can I'll try my best" is what have to carry us through the joys and the disappointments.

And so the Princess met her first big one on Friday. It was the long awaited mini netball tournament. My, they were excited. It went so well in the warm up.

They were ready for their first (and only ) real game of the season. And then we as moms found out that the school they have been drawn to play is one of the schools that starts in January and have had 8 games under the belt. But we somehow hoped that it will go well. And yes, it did not go too bad, they  only lost 0-3, but the issue is that the ball NEVER go to my Princess - you see, being the tallest girl in the team she plays goal or assistant goal,  and on Friday it was goal. She was stuck in her little circle with nothing to do - the bane of many netball goal shooters - you are either very busy or very bored. The picture below is the closest the ball got to here - once in the whole game only. Clearly waiting for it, but they lost it while passing it to the assistant goal (HD) in the picture. The frustration was great, the tears after the game endless. Despite being asked by her coach to please play again next year as she is her best goal, the tears just did not stop.

We were both hungry, not having had a "real" lunch but she refused to have something there, so we hopped in he car and stopped at the first convenience food place - a KFC just across the school. As we waited for our lunch and the obligatory ice cream to follow, the tears stopped and she started talking. Turns out her biggest disappointment was not being able to show me (and me telling daddy) that she can indeed play netball. After I assured her that I knew she can play and reminding her that she was asked to play again next year she cheered up and after a hug and a re assurance that I am in fact very proud of her the smile that I love so much appeared again.

Oh my heart broke for her -I know how much she was looking forward to this, but I also know that we need the disappointments in life to grow. It is how we as parents handle them that will determine how they deal with it in time. I do not think that it has put her off sports though, seeing as she is very eagerly starting with mini hockey this afternoon...