Tuesday, 16 February 2010

The brutality of it all.

So I have been on Facebook for ages - some of you know me there under my IRL name. But I am not an enthusiast - it got pretty tired of it pretty quickly. The great thing about Facebook is keeping contact with everybody, and the sometimes great thing is re- connecting with old friends.

I was not popular in High School - was not part of the "in" crowd, I was more part of the artsy crowd. The off - beaters.  Therefore I really do not care about most of the people that I went to High School with - I confirm their friend requests, and it stays on that level. But I had a few great friends - some of whom found me in the last year on FB. My best friend from High School found me two weeks ago and we have already chatted for more than an hour on the phone. It was great. One of the other girls and I have already met for lunch once and are planning to do so again. Anton found me last year and quickly brought me up to speed with some of the friends he had contact with and asked if I would help to organize a small reunion. We haven't got around to it yet. One of the friends was Toeba (a nickname) with whom he was great friends and saw regularly.

I have not been on Facebook since Thursday and very briefly on Sunday, but when I went in yesterday afternoon I was shocked. Toeba was brutally shot in his lounge in the early morning hours of Thursday morning by a gang of robbers. His 12 year old daughter was in the house. As was his girlfriend. He protected them to the bitter end. The ugly crime statistics in South Africa has hit close.

I am sad for his loved ones, I am shocked as in over 23 years after we had left school this is only the second of our class mates that have passed away - I guess we have been very lucky. It is just the way it happened that completely gets to me - the brutality of it all. The utter senselessness.

So we will be having a little reunion on Thursday morning, at his funeral, without Toeba. But in his memory. That is if I go. I have a problem with funerals.


  1. I am so sorry to hear that somebody that you "found" after so many years were so senselessly killed.


  2. That is horrible! My thoughts are with his family.

  3. That is so awful! I am so sorry for this loss for you and what a horrible way for it to happen!

  4. So unfortunate when people's lives are taken with total disregard for those that are left behind to deal with that reality every single day.

    One of the major reasons we left South Africa is the terrible crime rate.

  5. I'm sorry for your loss and the family left behind. The few funerals I go to are for people who really matter to me. Its hard but I cant not go. Its a show of solidarity to the family too. I will always remember them.

  6. Your family is beautiful. I am sorry to hear such a heartbreaking story.
    Thanks for visiting my feature over at Multiples and More today.
    God bless...

  7. I had a similar occurence just after someone from high school found me - someone we knew at school was highjacked and shot at the robot. He drove himself to hospital but died. tragic. he was 38 - so senseless.

    Funerals are horrible and I feel that unless you were particularly close, not to go.

    GOod luck with what you decide to do.


  8. I'm sorry about your friend...it sucks that things like this happen.

  9. I don't know if my other comment came through or not.

    I am so sorry for your loss. You and all that knew your friend will be in my thoughts and prayers.

    Just a thought....funerals are for the living. I hope you find the best way for you to mourn and heal.

  10. OMGoodness! I am so very sorry to hear this. How horrible.

    ps I have problems with funerals as well :(

  11. How sad, and terrifying. I'm so sorry.

  12. Oh Cat. This is heartbreaking and so horrific to even imagine. So sorry for the loss, and for the incredible feelings of dis-ease that follow.

    Peace to you...and to the family and friends of Toeba.

  13. I was just talking with a friend from college the other night about how facebook has connected us with others and the good and bad that we hear by being so connected to others....I sadly learned of the loss of an old friend via FB this winter but even more sad, is that I learned too late :-(

    I am sorry for the loss of your friend...you know I am mourning a major loss in my life right now and it pains me to hear of more friends dealing with their own losses.

    Life is surely not fair...I have lost other family and friends in the past...grandparents, a few friends - but no one as close as my brother this week. I can barely look at his photo without dissolving into tears. It pains me that my children will not grow to know him but i hope that I can help teach them in his memory of what an outstanding man he was...

  14. That is heartbreaking. I'm sorry.

  15. I'm sorry for your loss, and his family's.


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