Trying to find that magical balance...one day at a time
Tuesday, 4 August 2015
Leaving a #BeautyLegacy
My A is growing up so very fast! It is as if from the moment she turned 10 the nagging little things we seem to have about ourselves started. For the first time ever she did not want to wear a pretty dress to school on her birthday - because it's not cool apparently. She also started with a bit of skin niggles which we are fighting with face wash and pimple cream. Just last night she right out told me she feels ugly because her skin looks ugly. (Which certainly is not true)
She is very tall for her age - one of the 4 tallest girls in her grade - and skinny to boot. If pants are long enough they will be too wide for her to wear and I constantly find myself making plans to get long pants that actually fit. So of course the nasty girls will zoom in on her body - maybe out of jealousy? Or just because they are nasty. The very first hockey practise this year while dressing for the hockey a girl remarked that she (and her BFF - that is shorter but also skinny) are too thin. A was left speechless - her friend had the confidence to very cheekily remark "We are sportswomen - this is how we look. You are unfit and fat". Yes, maybe not the right thing to say but I do admire her confidence to fight back against the negative words.
The problem is that not only is the world throwing body conscious issues at our girls but so are we. If we complain about our thighs or our hair it is quite possible our daughters will pick up on it. Have a look here:
When I received a lovely package from Dove yesterday that supports the campaign in the video above I knew I just have to do what they ask. I have to start today to make sure that I pass on a beauty legacy to my daughter. Make her feel beautiful because the world outside will do the breaking down of that what we try to build. The idea is to write down and share positive and self esteem building notes and place them in the jar for her to read. And sometimes to add a note to her lunch box, her books, her ballet bag. Part of this of course is to be gentler to myself too - especially when she can hear me. To stop the negative comments about myself. To love myself more and take better care about myself.
Dove has a wonderful website that one can use to inspire and support our girls - have a look at the Dove self esteem project. It provides a lot of advice on a lot of subjects that we have to deal with and help our girls through.
Lets all get on board and make the next generation one with confidence.
It freaks me out completely. Zoe is in Grade 2 and they are already making comments. It is so hard so teach them to love themselves when our Calvinistic upbringing didn't really encourage that.
I think that is a big part of it - we were taught to be modest but the world today is more towards breaking down confidence so in some way we should build up the confidence to compensate for the world outside
I am so going to blog my 2c on this subject... And I totally endorse A's friend for standing up to the bullies. I'll even go so far as to say that she said exactly the right thing - give the little cows a taste of their own medicine! Megan has been quite body conscious for a good long while now, so it'll be interesting to me to see how other moms are dealing with these questions and issues...
It breaks my heart that this is starting at a younger age as the years go on. I love the whole idea of little love notes that build her up...sounds like a wonderful campaign.
I can't believe it starts so young :o You keep reinforcing a positive body image for her!! xx
ReplyDeleteI think it starts even younger Marcia.
DeleteI do my best not to even "primp" in front of the mirror. There are parts of me that I don't always love, but I don't want my girlies to know that!
ReplyDeleteIt breaks my heart to hear that your A is already having those challenges. I'm at least glad to hear she's confiding in you about them.
Very thankful that she does talk to us. But she is a tween now - I guess it's the time it starts to happen
DeleteIt freaks me out completely. Zoe is in Grade 2 and they are already making comments. It is so hard so teach them to love themselves when our Calvinistic upbringing didn't really encourage that.
ReplyDeleteI think that is a big part of it - we were taught to be modest but the world today is more towards breaking down confidence so in some way we should build up the confidence to compensate for the world outside
DeleteI am so going to blog my 2c on this subject...
ReplyDeleteAnd I totally endorse A's friend for standing up to the bullies. I'll even go so far as to say that she said exactly the right thing - give the little cows a taste of their own medicine!
Megan has been quite body conscious for a good long while now, so it'll be interesting to me to see how other moms are dealing with these questions and issues...
Cant wait to read yours
DeleteLove the campaign! I also always try to stay positive about my own body and never say negative things about it!
ReplyDeleteIt breaks my heart that this is starting at a younger age as the years go on. I love the whole idea of little love notes that build her up...sounds like a wonderful campaign.
ReplyDeleteWhat!!! I can't believe kids behave like that with one another. Loss of innocence! It breaks my heart
ReplyDelete