I know that Mr L has demanded a lot of attention this year - it has been a very tough adaption for him. Mr C has the talent to demand his own attention amidst Mr L's tantrum which is tough at that moment but possibly better release to the issue than A who runs to her room and distance herself. But sometimes he looks at me and his eyes shows clearly that he feels he needs a bit more. Those blue eyes can look a hole through your best intentions. I have to make sure that he does not quietly feel deprived as well.
There is also the issue that A is older and parties are mostly drop off affairs for her now and with the boys we really still need to go with them. I know that this is an issue for her because she dropped something about it- but she has to accept that parents are not necessarily welcome at parties any more. I also know that this week is tough with all the ballet and that she would have loved to have me at the netball yesterday but it was simply not possible. So I promised her I would be with her this weekend for the ballet - well most of it because I do want to watch the show too and I have to get the boys home on Friday afternoon. I know this is important to her because this morning she said "You can just drop me at the ballet, I am the big girl and I will look after myself. You can go to the brothers because they need you more"" in a tone of voice that says the right opposite. Followed by " I know you love them more" Oh my heart broke - did I really not give her enough attention or is it just her perception? I know this is possible manipulation but I can also see that she maybe needs this right now.
However the truth or not, I do think she needs a bit of love and care at the moment. I am no love languages expert but I know that quality time is important to her - by choice she always wants to make something with me, not get something or go somewhere. And words of affirmation - she lives for praise. Both of these are tough - the correct and enough attention especially one on one to 3 kids is never an easy task even with a full on board very attentive dad that really fills in wherever he can. He really goes the extra mile for use all. I have no idea how single moms juggle all this. We also try to stress the importance of being humble on our kids, but building self confidence at the same time. A very tough balance. Roll into this the forever working mom guilt of not being everywhere always.
So wish us luck in trying to break ourselves into 3 equal pieces which in honesty one can never do. But yes, a juggle on a balance thing.
I would love to know how you deal with this in your house, especially if there are more kids than parents in the house.
BTW I have decided not to do my photo a day on the blog any more - most are featured in my Project life posts anyways - I am still publishing on Instagram (catjuggles) and sharing on Facebook and Twitter so you can find them there. I have also posted my newest Project life pages here.