Dealing with disappointment

Way back in standard 4 (grade 6 today) I was chosen to sing in a State Theatre Opera production of Othello. It was a huge honour as we were hand picked by the Opera's conductor and musical director and we practiced for hours.Then came the big day when we were taken to the State Theatre to be measured for our costumes and to practice with the cast. We got on that huge stage and the Prima Donna was standing with us to sing our bit (we were children taking flowers to her) and as the director looked at the scene, he yelled "stop" and took me off the stage. Yes, at that age I was head and shoulders taller than her and would most certainly not have worked in the piece as a child taking flowers. It was the end of my brief singing career and I also stepped out of the school choir at the end of that year. Not only did I feel I was too tall but also that I could not sing. That somehow, the two were connected. I fully intend to handle and see that disappointment is handled on a better level with my children. And yes, I realize that one can not always guard them from others and the realities in life, but our family's motto of "I think I can I'll try my best" is what have to carry us through the joys and the disappointments.

And so the Princess met her first big one on Friday. It was the long awaited mini netball tournament. My, they were excited. It went so well in the warm up.

They were ready for their first (and only ) real game of the season. And then we as moms found out that the school they have been drawn to play is one of the schools that starts in January and have had 8 games under the belt. But we somehow hoped that it will go well. And yes, it did not go too bad, they  only lost 0-3, but the issue is that the ball NEVER go to my Princess - you see, being the tallest girl in the team she plays goal or assistant goal,  and on Friday it was goal. She was stuck in her little circle with nothing to do - the bane of many netball goal shooters - you are either very busy or very bored. The picture below is the closest the ball got to here - once in the whole game only. Clearly waiting for it, but they lost it while passing it to the assistant goal (HD) in the picture. The frustration was great, the tears after the game endless. Despite being asked by her coach to please play again next year as she is her best goal, the tears just did not stop.

We were both hungry, not having had a "real" lunch but she refused to have something there, so we hopped in he car and stopped at the first convenience food place - a KFC just across the school. As we waited for our lunch and the obligatory ice cream to follow, the tears stopped and she started talking. Turns out her biggest disappointment was not being able to show me (and me telling daddy) that she can indeed play netball. After I assured her that I knew she can play and reminding her that she was asked to play again next year she cheered up and after a hug and a re assurance that I am in fact very proud of her the smile that I love so much appeared again.

Oh my heart broke for her -I know how much she was looking forward to this, but I also know that we need the disappointments in life to grow. It is how we as parents handle them that will determine how they deal with it in time. I do not think that it has put her off sports though, seeing as she is very eagerly starting with mini hockey this afternoon...