Wednesday, 2 March 2016

On growing old

My mom turned 80 yesterday - and started her day in hospital. It was unplanned - on Friday she was admitted for an emergency operation after her newly replaced hip dislocated. She has spent the weekend and the morning of her 80th birthday in hospital. All thumbs up for Life Little Company of Mary hospital that surprised her with a card, mini red velvet cake and 18 nurses singing "Happy Birthday" to her. Then we took her home where friends visited for a quick cup of tea the afternoon. I took the boys around after work (A is in that crazy week of ballet every evening before concert). She was exhausted by then.

Although my mom is very healthy in terms of heart, lungs etc and with a clear mind (although her hearing is getting a little problematic), her orthopedic issues are quite overwhelming. This has been her 4th time under anesthetic in 3 years for issues on the very same leg. Rheumatoid arthritis is no one's friend. All along she had hope to walk properly again and drive again. I am really honestly hoping we can get there.... really. As frustrating as her loss of independence it is for her, so the extra burden of another household's shopping and accounts is for us. We have made a lot of things easier for us all with electronic banking etc but it remains not ideal.

I am wishing her a wonderful year with some gaining of her independence. Living for 45 years with a horrid disease that see a lot of youngish people wheelchair bound is no mean feat. Really growing old is not easy.

I am wondering how many of you have the same type of age gap thing we have - children not yet grown and needing a lot of attention (where you could do with an extra set of helping grandparent hands - thank goodness my MIL is with us at the moment)  and and elderly parent needing help too?


  1. I am sorry to hear you have this added strain on what is clearly an already hectic schedule! I hope she will recover well and regain some independence.


  2. happy 80th birthday to your mom. It's called the sandwich generation, Cat, what you're in at the moment.

    PS did you get anything in the mail?

  3. It's so tough watching our parents get older. I hope your Mum gets on the mend soon and is back on her feet in no time. It's tough looking after our kids and our parents.
    My mum is wheelchair bound and she is only 63. She had a double hip op about 7 years ago but developed diabetes and then neuropathy. Her hips are great but the neuropathy has her in a wheelchair. My Dad lives in Uitenhage, we in PE and DH's parents are also on a downhill spiral with their health. DH's parents looked after Liam until he was 3½ which was a huge help and it seems that since he started school they have deteriorated.

  4. I'm right there with you! Kudos to your Mom for moving to online banking, we are still carting around bank books! I'm taking care of my MIL, FIL, and husbands uncle; with Parkinson's, 2 cancers, and mild retardation respectively. I think of them as my new toddlers. My ladies are really getting into extra curriculars as you say so I am really feeling the strain. Thankfully they are still taking things together so it's only one drop off for the both of them. Two nights for lax, one each for dance and Girl Scouts, and I work weekends. I'm slowly ticking off the days till our summer break!!

    1. We actually moved her to online banking and are mostly doing it for her. Makes the world of difference

  5. Happy birthday to you mom!! Terribly sorry to hear about her plight but also big thumbs up to her for rocking it like a bad ass!:)

    PS. Hubby and I have the same dilemma, our moms are quite an age. Although his mom is still young (60s), she has back issues and thus can't take care of our kids at all. My mom however had seemingly boundless energy, but there's a clear difference now. Also neither drive and there's no granddads. So,yes,my siblings have no idea how lucky they were to have my mom n dad as a young grandparents.
    All the best for your mom.x

  6. I am in the process of getting my mom into a retirement isn't easy making peace with the fact that age is catching up.

  7. Happy birthday to your mom! Nice of the hospital staff to make her day nice.

    Arthritis is a terrible!!!


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